If you could go back to the day you feel you were most depressed, what would you tell your dejected self? Words of encouragement? Assurance that the future is not that bad? Or that even more depressing things are to come?
What words do you think the past you needed most?
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I would help myself do my laundry and take a shower. Get dressed nicely with makeup and go to the supermarket. Cook and eat a real, good meal. Help myself clean the house and change the linens.
And just cuddle with myself.
This.
There is no “going back” to that day because I feel more depressed right now than I have ever felt in my entire life.
To answer your question, I don’t know what to tell myself anymore — except this has to be some sort of cosmic joke.
Your experiences are very similar to mine. I would often hide out in a bathroom stall or in a secluded corner of the school to retreat from the constant torment. On the few occasions that I defended myself, the teachers who previously looked the other way all of a sudden got involved — to reprimand and punish me! This naturally led me to grow very distrusting of authority figures, governments, society, and humanity as a whole.
Public school was much worse than Catholic school overall, but I was still treated worse than everyone else in both of the Catholic schools that I attended. I wonder how my life might have been different if I had a normal upbringing or was homeschooled like I wanted to be. Would I have turned out to be the maladjusted adult that I am today? Probably not, but it’s difficult to say for sure.
That my mind is just telling me a story, and that I should ‘over estimate’ myself according to my mindset at the time. Do something concrete, and, as much as I can, the opposite of what my inner voice is telling me to do at the time. But I never know how to avoid the shutting myself away part of the equation because my outward functioning is always terrible.
It’s a good question. While it is moot for me, it is not for a younger person like me.
I would tell myself that I need to advocate for myself, to give myself the opportunity to seek help, that I am worth fighting for, even if no one else will.
I wouldn’t go back personally.
I couldn’t really name a day when I was most depressed. I guess if I could go back to any time. I would probably just tell myself it doesn’t get better.
Hello future self, off and leave, NOW. You know what is best for you. Get the Hell out of dodge.