At this point I’m just like “fuck it” in a certian sense. I’ve been so worried about if this guy will like me that I don’t even fucking talk to him because I don’t want to fuck up my chances if he figures out the “real” me.
But you know, if he doesn’t like the “real” me then why the hell do I want to date him? I can’t keep trying to change myself into something that I think that men will like. You know? Fuck that.
It feels like the end of the world right now if he rejects me, but honestly I will just move on with my life if that is the case. I’ve moved on before, and I can move on again.
And you know, if the embarassment is too back, there’s always the “backdoor” of life which I can take, I literally don’t even care at this point. Well I do, but I don’t.
I came to Japan for one reason, really, and no matter where I go, I will still always have that opportunity.
22 comments
Why would men not liek the real you?
The only way for a love or relationship to work is to be the real you. If you try to fake things, you will finally get unlucky about it and want to becme the real you. So better start as the real you. If he doesn’t liek you, he is not the one for you. And that can hurty awfully i konow, but believe me: beeing someone else than the real you hurts even more.
That’s my point exactly mate. ^.^
I know. But what i wanted to ask: why do you think men don’t like the real you?
Well, because I can be very aggressive and direct. Not very romantic, haha.
Why are you agressive? Are you affraid men will hurt you and are you protecting yourslef/ Than it will be less when trust between you and he love of your life grows. 😉 i’m sure there are enough men that liek a direct woman that is strong and independant. The way i see love is realy unusual, so to find the real love of my life took me 33 years. I’ve been in relationships before, just accepting i didn’t have what i needed, but it caused only pain. I’m sure your journey will bring you to the man that will be your soulmate just the way you are.
Haha, I’m aggressive because that’s just how I am? With everyone all the time. I don’t mean physically violent but … it is difficult to explain.
Ok;-) i think i see what you mean. Buti’m sure there are enoguh men wanting an agressive/direct woman. I think every person has it’s own beauty, only some peopel like pink and others likee blue so you have to find someone that likes the way you are. And although it hurts when someomen is not the one you hoped he was, the world will not end(although it feels like it doess sometimes). But as far as i know form your post, you didn’t date the guy yet? So give it a try and hope for the best. Be rpodu of the woman you are and don’t be affraid, not all men are idiots that think a woman should be weak or listening to them.
We have gone on one date and it went quite well. But there is a language barrier and he works quite a lot.
that’s bullshit foundhappniess. A woman shoud stay who she is, smoking, full of tattos, not showered for a week, what does it matter? Peopel should look deeper than the outside, love isn’t about pretending but about beeing yourself. so please if a woman found the right path and dicided to not please men in their most of the time in sane wishes, don’t come up with this bulshit.
I wouldn’t like it if someone didn’t shower for a week, but they might have their reasons so I’d listen, and then encourage them to take one.
Don’t care if they smoke, as long as its not heavy smoking. my ex was a heavy smoker and ended up with COPD and a stroke…………..
If I get blasted for being judgmental so be it.
well I am referring to guys here.
A lot of people might be like you foundhappiness, I agree. Judgemental and shallow. Looking for a partner that will please them with no thought that this is a person and not an object. But not everyone is. Some people look deeper than what a person is on the outside. Some people can understand when a person has a bad day they let it out by cussing or if they are depressed they might not shower for a little bit. They realise that these things don’t change who a person is on the inside.
So a woman has to be attractive: and what about men? Men often dont’ do annything to be attractive, so why sould women do that?
We are on a site about suicide here. So when someone just wants to be herself, she’s o the good way. You are talking liek the world that mae most of us suicidal. I feel sorry for your girlfriend if you have one.
He is like that world. Judgemental and selfish.
There are a lot of jerks like foundhappiness in the world who believe themselves to be better than others. They are sexist and judgemental. Rude and they believe it to just be ‘being direct’ or ‘real’. They excuse themselves from their own shortcomings while holding others over the coals for theirs. If they can’t understand what your saying then your an idiot to them. They are manipulative by many means because when people get past their false first impressions they leave. Hence why he rifles through women like a stack of movies.
I mean, everyone is entitled to their type I think.
I prefer my men to be demure, feminine, and fragile. I like to be stronger than them, and more masuline. I prefer to set the dates, pay for meals, and buy them gifts versus them doing these sorts of things for me.
So yeah, everyone has a type, and I think that’s okay.
Entitled to a type yes. Talking about people who don’t meet their standards as though they are inferior is a whole different thing and this is why foundhappiness is just being a superficial idiot. Saying that no one wants that is absurd and rude.
Foundhappiness you just have it in your head people feel inferior because you have your standards just like your opinion that your standards are higher than most. I remember what you posted in spectralgiraffe’s post about how you want your women to act in bed. People don’t feel inferior. People are upset about a jerk like you with your judgemental attitude being rude to people you know nothing about.
Your pretty awesome Minxtou! You shouldn’t be anyone else then who you are.
You’re obviously smart and a hard worker. You are sensitive and caring.
Don’t let a shallow world change you. Be strong.
Foundhappiness You speak of high class, yet your comment is incredibly low class. It was an absolute rubbish thing to say. People all over the world often curse out of frustration. It has no bearing on whether or not they are classy or not. Neither does being a smoker or having tattoos. Men are taught to have this preconceived notion on what beauty is, but the truth is that everyone is beautiful. The world isn’t full of airbrushed models with tiny waists. Everyone has flaws. Everyone is beautiful because of those flaws. Expecting everyone to be perfect, to expect people to be exactly what you want them to be instead of letting people be themselves and loving them for it, is unrealistic. You are flawed, just like everyone else. You are loved
Minxtou I know this has already been said, but I will say it again: Be yourself. If someone cannot accept you for who you are, then they are not worth your time. I grew up in a family who didn’t even accept me for me. So I tried to change to fit what they wanted. But if you try and be someone you aren’t just for someone else, you will never be yourself or be happy. Just my two cents 🙂
I cuss and have tattoos. So if I don’t do that while we date and suddenly start when we are married, he’s in for a bit of a surprise, no?
It’s not as if I cuss when I am working or anything like that. TPO man!
don’t worry about this replies here. I realy believe this all is nonsense. Just be youself, just the way you would e at home when you feel free. If it doesn’t work searhc until you found the one that is your unconditional lover, he will exist although searching for it can take frustratingly long.