It’s sad when you have intentions on being deceased in a few days. All I’ve been doing is being in my bedroom this weekend. I guess my illness has got worse. Plus I am back to work tomorrow.
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I don’t want to kill myself, but I have to.
I was fighting to see if my situation would get better but it seems that it just got way worse.
I think I might be dead by the end of this week.
I have to be at work today.
I hate my life so much.
I know how you feel Ree.
I’m having major anxiety attacks.
I accidentally mest up on my medicaid application and on my tax returns for many years. I haven’t received a notice but I’m afraid of multiple fraud charges and huge penalties, plus my dad has cancer, I can’t deal with all this.
This is not what I would call a temporary problem.
This what I would call a permanent problem, so I need a permanent solution.
Oh man my heart is pumping, thinking this could be my last Sunday alive.
What’s going on with you Ree?
Sorry to head about you health insurance, taxes and father’s sickness @definitelyworried. I was thinking the same thing, like this will be my last Sunday. I can’t lay in the bed my whole life. I feel lazy, unaccomplished and cheated. I don’t know about you but I just have the feeling of how did I get to this point and what could I have done differently. I was thinking like, I have 3 people that I have connected to through chat, @definitelyworried @agonizing @born.loser. I just don’t see the point of living longer with my situation, it’s like I got hit with a ton of bricks with the reality.
I would appreciate if we stay in touch throughout theses days. I guess I’ll know for sure if I’m going to kill myself by thursday, depending on what kind of info I get after I talk to some attourneys.
The people I connected here the most was @ree1222 , @Agonizing ,@dancing-with-death , @BORN and @pained.
Just message me.
Do you have a day in mind of doing it?
I’m thinking if I do it will probably be anywhere between tuesday night through Sunday night.
But it is difficult for me to plan it because I hate thinking about it.
But I can’t keep going like this.
Sorry to hear that, as I have no particular date or time. I want to before the weekend though. I wish I could talk you out of it but I am on the same level.
The only way someone would be able to talk me out of it is if they gave me a solution for some of these problems. It doesn’t even have to be a solution for most of the problems just some.
The thing is that instead of finding a solution I find even more problems. And I’m talking about big problems.
This is why if these attourneys can not give me any solutions. I’m done.
I been dealing with all this for about for about 4 months and things just get worse.
I tried to stay positive waited to see if things got better, but they only keep getting worse.
If these attourneys give me bad news, that will be my breaking point.
Do you have a situation that would be your breaking point?
If you don’t mind me asking, do you have an illness? Are the attorneys in regards to the prospective fraud. What are the problems?
I believe I’m already at my breaking point. I’m sick and will never get well, I know for sure. I just had a few prophecies that I had waited on to come true, now I believe that I was lied to. I use to be more career motivated but after a string of disappointments I slowly but surely began getting more depressed, along with chronic challenges. I was in the hospital for this past Christmas and New Year and had not one thought about suicide. I felt at that time I was in a place that I didn’t belong but I bared the day’s. Here it is June and I want to go.
I don’t have a physical illness that I’m aware of but I might have a few mental illnesses.
I was collecting rent on behalf of my mom checks were made out to me, and putting it into a bank account with my name on it that was set up just specifically for mortgage automatic payments.
I didn’t report that money as my income this has been going on for over 5 years at least.
2 years ago I applied for medicaid and food stamps and I didn’t report that as my income I did give them all the info that I thought was correct at that time, I don’t make a lot of money, since I make minimum wage part time job.
But according to the latest info I got from a CPA. The money that I was collecting on my mom’s behalf needs to be reported by me as my income, which would make it fraud for medicaid, foodstamp and tax fraud.
This is what I get for trying to be a good son, helping out my mom managing the property.
I’m going to get a second opinion from some tax attourneys, to see if I could somehow straightened all this out.
I felt uncomfortable sharing this, but I want to be open so you know why I’m doing this.
What about you?
What Is Your Breaking point?
I feel an urgency to kill myself before I get charged with anything so that my family won’t have to deal with those penalties.
So, you’re still collecting for her? I would of thought that was not your income too because you paid her/house bills with the money. Can you use your mental illness as a reason for the mishap, as you might have been confused? So, I assumed that you have been charged but you all haven’t gone to court yet? Discrimination against the mentally ill sucks.
I only been diagnosed with anxiety disorder.
I used that money to pay the mortgage my mom is the primary signer and I’m the co-signer, she added me to the property so I would.
I’m not collecting for her anymore.
I haven’t been charged yet. But I fear that I will.
I want to die before I get a letter from anyone of them by mail.
But that is why I’m going to talk to some attourneys before I kill myself, I hope they give me good news.
I want to hear your story if that’s ok with you.
@definitelyworried I hope you can show that the money went through you, not to you. A CPA would be my next person to talk to. Our CPA keeps us out of trouble as much goes through us and relatively little goes to us. Please let us know how this goes.
One CPA I talked to said that’s the problem, that she can’t see how we could show that the money went through me.
She is saying that on paper it looks like that’s my money.
I might talk to a different cpa.
See if I can get a different opinion.
Thanks @a1957
@definitelyworried I am hoping this a matter of just amending returns and so on. This sounds to me like a matter of an informal agreement between you and your mother that should have been formalized from the get go and now you will be getting that done. The job of of a CPA is to lend credibility to a filing. If you could not keep the money then you did not keep the money. See a different CPA.
I wish there was a way where I could clear this up with the IRS.
Since I really didn’t know what I was doing.
@a1957
Thanks, I appreciate your reply. I hope can figure this out in my favor, cause I don’t want to kill myself but I feel this will push me to it.
I have other issues, but I’m trying to take thsee thing one problem at a time.
I’m having anxiety attacks knowing I could be killing myself soon.
But really thank you.
@definitelyworried Especially if your wrote checks to your mother or for your mother that equaled, or nearly equaled the money you received, then this is an accounting exercise. Even if you kept a portion of the money for your troubles and need to pay taxes on that then the IRS allows long term small monthly very low interest repayment plans, in my experience.
As to the anxiety, mine used to be extreme too. A little supplement, not much cost, called L-theanine greatly eased the anxiety that once tormented me.
I never wrote checks to my mother, I would deposit checks that were written out to me and put them in a bank account that was in my name, that account had automatic payments to the mortgage.
I was doing this in behalf of my mother informally.
Real fine. You were running a business. Running a business always means we need a CPA. None of us are born knowing all the rules and a CPA can usually show you enough business related tax exemptions that neither of us would ever think of that the CPA more than pays for himself/herself just in tax savings alone. I know the horse is already out of the barn as they say but yeah, with any business, a CPA is gold when they are in the loop even before a tax filing.
I only use a CPA or lawyer that has been recommended by someone that I know. This has saved me considerable grief over the years.
I didn’t think I was running a business I thought I was just helping my parents out. They never explained to me that I should be talking to a CPA.
Have you ever had penalties from the irs, have you ever been audited?
They were very light. Those penalties were in the neighborhood of 3.5 percent. It was just a matter of I wanted to invest the money right away rather than pay it in taxes on April 15. It was a deliberate calculation and a good move at the time.
I have been audited twice. The first time, the matter would have been sorted out by a CPA in a matter of about 15 minutes and I would have spent about an hour producing documentation. Instead I did it all myself and invested many many hours, several calls to the IRS, tons of anxiety, and took about 6 weeks to finally get a resolution. I was getting close to the edge several times.
The second audit was a carbon copy of the first and I literally had it handled in about 2 hours, having learned agonizing lessons from the first time. Both of these audits were not my fault, but rather involved an ex who was not reporting alimony received.
The thing is this. The IRS, in my experiences with them, are decent people. But the rules, and more especially the application of those rules, is just so vast as to make a CPA a necessity where a business is concerned. Again, a CPA that comes well recommended is a real plus.
So far I been getting different answers, but I think overall it’s not looking good. I will have to do a little bit more research, which I hate doing.
I talked to 2 different cpa and 2 different tax preparers and only one gave me an answer I liked, but 2 gave me a similar answer that I didn’t like and 1 other one gave an answer I totally hate.
Uh this is gut wrenching. I thought I had a solution but now o see even more problems, today was rough. Very rough.
It seem like it may be your anxiety getting a hold of you. I believe that you should be fine. Alerting an attorney might not be a good ideal, they can be crooks, like snitch on you just to get a case rather they represent you or not. I lose respect for attorneys when I lose a chance at a few lawsuits. I’d have enough money to go to Switzerland by now. I shared some of my story up above.
That is what some people have told me. I’m afraid of those two things too. What if it just my anxiety, and I’m afraid that attourneys could do that too.
But if I don’t do anything about it, I will be living with this horrible anxiety, I never thought I could be braking the law with out knowing it.
I’m stuck and I can’t live like this.
One CPA I talked to said that’s the problem, that she can’t see how we could show that the money went through me.
She is saying that on paper it looks like that’s my money.
Don’t worry about it until it presents it’s self. Wish my situation was as easy.
I don’t know what your whole situation is, but I’m here to listen, if you want to tell me, I know you said you have an illness, but i don’t know what you mean by that, I don’t know if it’s something deadly or not.
I know my situation is not easy at all.
I hope that you feel better about your situation. Just never thought I might leave june 2018 but no one knows the time nor hour of death. Emotionally, I’d just rather leave before thing’s get worse, curing and preventing further pain. I had a prophetic dream about 9 year’s ago and I finally believe that I know what it means.
Tell me about it. I need someone to talk to tonight.
I’m having anxiety attacks.
I’m omw to bed but the dream was that I was sitting on a couch and some hands reached out to hand me a baby wrapped in white linen, the child didn’t look vibrant, maybe sick, as I didn’t know at that time while dreaming. I literally floated off the couch to a door where my mom and grandma were behind in gray. I wasn’t able to access that door, leading me to float up the hallway in my white gown, until I found an open exit door wide open. Still holding the baby in my arms, I floated out into the air and up to soft pink clouds and there I met my lover, whom I was in love with at that time dressed in black. He had his hands reached out for me and the baby and I floated in place on the west and he stayed in positon on the east reaching out to the baby and I, as if he wanted us to come closer. At the end of the dream I felt that I might of, was going to released the baby to him but I didn’t know if I was going to float toward him too, it was just something about him being dressed in all black, I was very hesitant. My lover was alive during my dream. He died in 2011. I lost my baby to miscarriage in 2014. And I guess it’s time for me to go in 2018. Deaths in clockwise order.
Dang that is really strange. Do you beleive in an afterlife?
I held on to that dream and never forgot it, though I don’t know about believing in an afterlife but I believe in spirit.
Too tough to end your life if it was easier to suicide I’d be up and dead a long very considerably long while ago.
When I am “sitting in the room” I like to think about what I’d like to do before I die because I know it is approaching very suddenly. So far, I have eat a meal at the Gyro Shack. Not much else…… it used to be “….live” nope. Never again.