The medicine is like a bandaid.
After months of crawling in the metaphorical dirt, my physician got fed up and referred me to a psychiatrist. I didn’t fight it, I gave up.
I’ve given up for a while now. I’m in a mental limbo: I care… but I don’t.
How may times have I cycled through the mental healthcare system? I’ve lost count.
Have a crisis… see the Doc… meet the new Psych… get meds… ignore everything…. Have a crisis- again.
I thought I was doing well. I always think I’m doing well. The medication slaps a lid on my emotions, muffles the voices… for a while. But when the voices seep through, they just get gradually louder.
That nasty inner voice:
See? No one cares about you.
You’re such a worthless human being.
Go die already.
My bandaid fell off.
2 comments
The voices are wrong. People do care for you and it matters to them what happens to you. I’m sorry it sounds like an endless cycle for you. Please stay with that psych and the meds if there are any . Keep finding answers. And a solution more solid than bandaids
if you’re referring to schizophrenia when you say ‘voices’, medication is one of the most effective treatments for this illness. that is unfortunate, because meds make you sick in different ways. i’ve been on that psychatric path and it’s no fun, so i stopped taking, and haven’t noticed any change (i suffer from depression, also never had a psychotic episode). occasionally there will be times i’d take medication, if it’s really bad.
i feel you. meds can really shut down a person, and we’re left with the question – should we choose the voices, or choose to shut down our whole system?
hopefully you’ll find pills that aren’t so horrible, think that would be the best thing, huh?