Having lived in this stressful environment for some time, one would guess that I would become immune to pressure. Yet, today I see that I have not even a single thing I succeeded in doing. My girlfriend, well, I broke up with her, and I don’t even have a single friend that I really feel comfortable with. My whole relationship with everyone is really ruined. Also, school and work were never a thing for me. I tried extra hard for this last project, which miserably failed. Despite my best efforts, nothing, NOTHING, ever went well.
It’s rather stupid to think about suicide when the stress I feel is quite applied to everyone. But.. I still feel like jumping off my apartment. I still feel like smashing everything. Why should I live when happiness – which everyone says is the goal of your life – doesn’t exist in my life? I’ve never been happy. In fact, when I was 10 years old, I actually told my friend I would die in less than 20 years. From such young age, I…was depressed.
3 comments
SAME FOR ME. is there something that i can do. at least i;m not really useless when i die
Same here! Never have I seen success in life. Always a failure despite all the hardwork and time I invest in anything I do. Never been “happy”. I feel like it purposefully happens, no matter how hard I try to be successful or happy, something/someone ‘abstract’ is finding ways to push me down ever more until I lose all the energy to get back up. I don’t know how to give my best anymore.
I can totally relate to what you must be going through. I wouldn’t say “hang in there” cause it hurts. I just wana say its NOT your fault. If you need a friend, please do write to me.
I find it really scary, sad, and strange to be suicidally depressed before reaching puberty around 13. 🙁
I used to be really happy… but I was also really sheltered…
I think all the nice moments in some of my favorite games and stuff ironically made me happy and arguably a good person as notjing else in my life truly seemed happy and good… if anything it just seems rotten, evil, and fake…
I wonder what I would be life if I didn’t have all those things…
And it’s funny how I say all of this when I feel the opposite now, that I’m bored with everything and it would almost be nice to give everything up as long as I can get normal life in return and so ehoe find a nee way of living, something happy eith my life even without all my digital hobbies…
Or maybe I wouldn’t really have to give that all up but if I did, idk…