Well I lost access to this site for a while now cause a stupid certain someone forgot to save the homepage as a favorite on her computer and couldn’t remember the name for a while.
As far as life is going I’m holding it together for now. The depressional thoughts have decreased but my anxiety is as high as ever though.
I keep doing my breathing exercises like my therapist taught me to do. But I don’t think there doing as much good as they used too.
I also had a realization this morning on why I have been keeping my nails so short for the past year or so. I try to keep them clean for work reasons. But could it possibly be a safety precaution to keep me from sinking my nails into the palms of my hands when ever I get stressed out or my anxiety starts kicking up. I’ve caught myself in the past few months trying to do that. I always manage to stop in time every time.
For some reason my self hate is extremely strong. Maybe its karma biting me in the ass for past mistakes by making my life a living hell now. I try my best to love myself I truly do. But I always seem to fuck up or think that everyone hates me…. I know I’ve been the black sheep of the family for years. That’s definitely for sure. It may just be the anxiety but honestly I can’t really tell the difference.
On a positive note after worrying about symptoms for a few months . I am officially not pregnant. I got my period finally two days ago. I was so relieved that I actually started crying… Before someone gets smart assed and asks why I’m not on birth control.
- My body is allergic to one of the main ingredients in birth control pills ( I almost died twice because of it)
- I am a chicken when it comes to needles and I don’t think someone jamming a piece of hard ware into my arm is a good idea.
- me and my boyfriend are kink freaks and like doing it bare back. Because every time we use a condom it keeps breaking ( we’ve tried many different sizes, varieties etc.)
- Its bad enough to begin with that my period are irregular so that adds and extra layer of hell.
- Thank you for reading!
2 comments
Try L-theanine supplements for anxiety. It’s the amino acid in green tea that gives you that calm feeling. I always keep them on hand, definitely takes it down a few notches. Plus it boosts dopamine levels. You can get it at freddy’s.
Same as what eviie2733 said. L-theanine worked nicely on my anxiety too.