I find it really sad, even though I go through depression myself… actually, that’s probably even more of a reason to be sad because I know what it’s like…
The methods for it though… their also kind of scary. 🙁
I feel sorry for them due to whatever circumstances that drove them to it. But also a bit envious and happy for them that they are now truly free and at peace since their bad life is over.
All I want is for Euthanasia to be freely available to anyone for the asking. No one should be forced by other humans to keep living against their will. This is torture/suffering posing as benevolence.
I think their pain must have been worse than mine. Every time ive come close to attempting, the pain from depression never seems to last long enough that I end up going through with it.
Exactly dammit. Even in my darkest hours the pain never lasted quite long enough. In fact the planning, preparing, gathering and practice activities would ironically give me a sense of control and comfort and I would eventually back down from idea. Only once did ever get really really close to pulling it off.
I have lost three work mates to suicide and one uncle. Can’t say I was surprised. It hurt a bit but not earth shattering.
However, I lost a friend to an accident. That was so painful and for many years. While it was not suicide technically, it was downright foolhardy what he did and I later learned that he could have died far sooner or almost certainly would have eventually died by what he was doing. Very foolish. Missed him deeply just the same.
He wasn’t a friend, but he and I understood each other, I’d say. We were friendly but not close, since each of our friend groups were totally different.
On a technical sense he and I were both class clowns. He was more the type to be that by action, and I by words. In fact I remember this one time I was either in detention or being threatened with expulsion for the umpteenth time, and the kid had done something to wind up in the office too. We exchanged one sentence each, but I remember it being a weird break in character from his usual self, I suppose because he saw I was upset. It might have been the other time I was threatened and considered killing myself, but the trips to the office bleed together in my memory. Anyway, whatever he said were words along the lines of “you’re here too? I guess we’re in the same boat then, huh?”
Despite being the class screwup in many ways, the kid beat the odds and not only graduated, but made it in to one of the biggest universities in the state.
A few weeks into the summer he walked in front of a semi truck.
honestly I envied him. I envied the crowd he gathered, the memories he left, his ability to follow through with it…
Then I saw the hole he left in his enormous, catholic family, who had a legacy in the school since before civil rights existed.
I felt guilty. I knew him but not that well, and I was a fifty fifty shot from going home and mixing NyQuil with cheap cognac. I probably couldn’t have done anything, but trying wouldn’t hurt. We weren’t that different after all.
Then I felt the sense of purpose, to actually make something of myself before I become a teenage tragedy like he did. Like I always ramble, there is one thing, and one thing only that I value about myself, and apparently I’m good enough at it to go places with it. And who says I can’t call it quits when I meet that purpose anyway? All the best stars die young; even the old ones.
Now I look back on him with almost exclusively pleasant memories. I’m happy he’s not in pain anymore, but I’m sad he’s not around. He really was a good kid. He just coped with his mistakes by intentionally making more. One day I’ll be just like him, but until then it’s still good to have the memories. It’s just a shame that he died before the world lost its mind. He would have had the best jokes for all of it.
Everyone commits suicide for different reasons. If someone is in never ending pain due to disease, then i am happy they can be free of that. If someone was going through a rough patch and jumped the gun after a few years of mental turmoil i think they should still be held accountable for the suffering they cause to those they abandoned.
Then again some people don’t have such connections to break in the first place. It just depends on the situation.
i sometimes cry to think about my childhood memories of my brother and feel sadness that he was in such pain to take his own life, but i am also disappointed in his weakness and cowardice to abandon his family and set his younger brothers on a path of darkness instead of atoning for his mistakes and changing himself.
so no, being in pain doesn’t get you off the hook all the time. And a part of me will never forgive him, but i also am saddened by the fact because we all make mistakes, especially when young.
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I don’t know anyone personally who has, but…
I find it really sad, even though I go through depression myself… actually, that’s probably even more of a reason to be sad because I know what it’s like…
The methods for it though… their also kind of scary. 🙁
I feel sorry for them due to whatever circumstances that drove them to it. But also a bit envious and happy for them that they are now truly free and at peace since their bad life is over.
All I want is for Euthanasia to be freely available to anyone for the asking. No one should be forced by other humans to keep living against their will. This is torture/suffering posing as benevolence.
I think their pain must have been worse than mine. Every time ive come close to attempting, the pain from depression never seems to last long enough that I end up going through with it.
Exactly dammit. Even in my darkest hours the pain never lasted quite long enough. In fact the planning, preparing, gathering and practice activities would ironically give me a sense of control and comfort and I would eventually back down from idea. Only once did ever get really really close to pulling it off.
How? (if you’re okay with sharing)
Do you mean how as in how I got really close to going or how in another way?
I have lost three work mates to suicide and one uncle. Can’t say I was surprised. It hurt a bit but not earth shattering.
However, I lost a friend to an accident. That was so painful and for many years. While it was not suicide technically, it was downright foolhardy what he did and I later learned that he could have died far sooner or almost certainly would have eventually died by what he was doing. Very foolish. Missed him deeply just the same.
That’s really sad you’ve been surrounded by so much death. 🙁
Thank you for those kind words. Actually, you are right. But for a long time I was so envious of the dead.
He wasn’t a friend, but he and I understood each other, I’d say. We were friendly but not close, since each of our friend groups were totally different.
On a technical sense he and I were both class clowns. He was more the type to be that by action, and I by words. In fact I remember this one time I was either in detention or being threatened with expulsion for the umpteenth time, and the kid had done something to wind up in the office too. We exchanged one sentence each, but I remember it being a weird break in character from his usual self, I suppose because he saw I was upset. It might have been the other time I was threatened and considered killing myself, but the trips to the office bleed together in my memory. Anyway, whatever he said were words along the lines of “you’re here too? I guess we’re in the same boat then, huh?”
Despite being the class screwup in many ways, the kid beat the odds and not only graduated, but made it in to one of the biggest universities in the state.
A few weeks into the summer he walked in front of a semi truck.
honestly I envied him. I envied the crowd he gathered, the memories he left, his ability to follow through with it…
Then I saw the hole he left in his enormous, catholic family, who had a legacy in the school since before civil rights existed.
I felt guilty. I knew him but not that well, and I was a fifty fifty shot from going home and mixing NyQuil with cheap cognac. I probably couldn’t have done anything, but trying wouldn’t hurt. We weren’t that different after all.
Then I felt the sense of purpose, to actually make something of myself before I become a teenage tragedy like he did. Like I always ramble, there is one thing, and one thing only that I value about myself, and apparently I’m good enough at it to go places with it. And who says I can’t call it quits when I meet that purpose anyway? All the best stars die young; even the old ones.
Now I look back on him with almost exclusively pleasant memories. I’m happy he’s not in pain anymore, but I’m sad he’s not around. He really was a good kid. He just coped with his mistakes by intentionally making more. One day I’ll be just like him, but until then it’s still good to have the memories. It’s just a shame that he died before the world lost its mind. He would have had the best jokes for all of it.
Wow now I’m really sad lol
Proud of them. Escaped the labrynth.
Everyone commits suicide for different reasons. If someone is in never ending pain due to disease, then i am happy they can be free of that. If someone was going through a rough patch and jumped the gun after a few years of mental turmoil i think they should still be held accountable for the suffering they cause to those they abandoned.
Then again some people don’t have such connections to break in the first place. It just depends on the situation.
i sometimes cry to think about my childhood memories of my brother and feel sadness that he was in such pain to take his own life, but i am also disappointed in his weakness and cowardice to abandon his family and set his younger brothers on a path of darkness instead of atoning for his mistakes and changing himself.
so no, being in pain doesn’t get you off the hook all the time. And a part of me will never forgive him, but i also am saddened by the fact because we all make mistakes, especially when young.