Hi,
Idk why but I’m in pain like actual pain
Idk why
I’m just lost
And I don’t know how to find myself
All I do now is doing what I have to do
Without feeling anything other than pain
I don’t want anything
I just want the pain to end
5ara
All I can see is how disgusting we are ,humans, we will never be happy for each other
We will never love each
There’s no love
We just like to convince ourselves that we are good and we love each other in order to get what we need from others without admitting that we are actually using them
Sometimes I look in the mirror and all I see is how disgusting I am
I am a living a double life
I am losing everyone and I don’t blame them
I don’t know how to stop doing this
It’s like an addiction that is taking all of my energy
I can’t focus
I am not happy
I might seem crazy
I am losing control
Sometimes I feel jealous
People around me are normal
They can handle the same stress which is breaking me down
I’m sad
I’ve always been abnormal
I can’t handle this anymore
I am soooo anxious
I can’t handle any sound
I wanna pull my hair everytime I hear any voice
Especially my family
I am having a severe headache because my mum kissed me ( the sound of her and her kiss and her steps is killing me )
What should I do
hi guys
after the episodes of suicidal thoughts
i started taking antidepressants
i am not depressed now
but i study medicine so i am in really stressful conditions
i had 2 panic attacks which is not that bad i know that
but i am sooooo stressed and i dont know how to stop it
i cant even hear anyone or anything because my brain cant take it anymore
i know i am so much better
but deep deep inside i know that i am not normal and i will never be normal and i will always have panic attacks and this is hearbreaking
lets consider this as a diary
….
so what should i talk about in the next appointment with my therapist:
1. how to deal with stress
2. do a schedule about the things that i should change to be better
3. know exactly why i am depressed in order to do point number 2
4. some tips to fulfill my life
5.how to stop being obsessed with my friend ( which i like )
i hate my life
i hate my life
i hate my life
i hate my family , every single one of them
i hate myself
im so weak
im just tired
if i have asked you for an advice
what would it be
what stopped you from commiting suicide ?
why you havent done it yet ?
hi
today i was in uni and i looked around me and found out that everyone is doing ok
but im not ok
i have started taking antidepressants
and i know that this part should be all about me feeling better about myself and that shit but how am i going to feel better if everything is the same
and i am scared even more of the part where i should start fixing my life
like where should i start or what is exactly wrong and why am i exactly depressed
im just lost
like they give you this hope that everything is going to […]
even though writing these posts here helps sometimes
but not enough
like im in pain but i dont feel like if anyone is feeling actually this pain or does know what it is
so here i am trying to share it again
im in pain
when every single field or part of your life is falling apart
and you just have no energy to change anything
so now you are fine with that and you dont mind it …
i think im used to be depressed
new update :
im not better
i woke up today feeling better
but in the evening , i started feeling like im being suffocated
and all the suicidal thoughts came back again
i think i had high hopes
and im disappointed now …..
this is my 13 day of taking antidepressants
i think finally im feeling better
even though it doesnt make sense that im feeling better even though everything around me stays the same and the same bad things
i dont know
i think i should celebrate that i am not suicidal anymore
wish me luck
you wake up everyday with this feeling of discomfort
you want to eat sth so that you can drink the medications
but you are disgust of every kind of food
you have duties and stuff to do but your brain is closed and your body is so weak out of stress
but here i am trying to survive a new day
wish me luck
I had 3 panic attacks yesterday
And I’ve been having those. Attacks for 5 months and it’s still sth that confuses me
Like why?
What I am afraid of ?
Why I am like this
Will I ever be fine ?
why do you want to commit suicide ?
and if you have ever tried to … then what stoped you ?