2018 has been shit it started close to the end of 2017 so many friends just up and flew the coop now i want to up and fly the coop thats fair if those fuckers can just abandon me i should be able to do the same thing but no my parents put me on fucking lock down like literally theres locks all over the house the .Thing is i don’t even want to die i just want to self harm but when they found out i was using the stove to burn myself they turned it off hid all the razors to so i now swallow whatever i can to block my airway unless i can get ahold of pills then ill take those to the problem is its hard to block your airway so you cant breath i. Either swallow the stuff or it gets trapped and is super painful then you sit 6 hours in the er in pain to get the surgery to remove it the other half the time i attempt suicide but im to afraid to complete suicide so i go to the hospital for help so ive been reading a couple post and i to think i need to get wasted and jump from ssomewere if taking my meds and alcohol doesnt kill me first so remember mom and dad you brought. This on yourself.