I’m merely lost and confused. I’m torn between sticking with the person I am now or going back to the person I was before. If I go back to who I was before, I wouldn’t care anymore. I wouldn’t be hurt and life would be easier. There was no concept of if a life mattered before, it was just me and my brother that mattered. There were no friends, no relationships, no anything. It was silence, cold, welcoming, silence.
The person I am now cares too much, sheds too many tears. I’m insecure and don’t want to trust anyone. The people I do try and trust end up doing things that ruin what little trust there is. I feel like I’m losing my mind and overthinking everything, but at the same time feel like every thought had reason behind it. I don’t know if I’ll go back to who I was before or stay the same. Just wanted to ramble and get a little pain off the chest.
3 comments
You can get a bit of pain off your chest here when you need to.
It sounds like you’re not really torn between the two choices, you seem like you simply want to go back to your old self (but what do I know, really ?).
Like I said I am torn. I may have glorified my past self a bit too much, but I was nothing but an embodiment of hatred before.
I guess we both know that the best would be a balance between not caring and caring too much (obviously easier said than done…). One thing is that it’s hard, I think, to go back to being one’s old self once one has really changed.