I dont deserve him. He derserves so much more then me. For this story lets call him Cooper yeah i kinda like that name we’ll go with that.
Cooper and i met through a friend. His friend. My bf. After a while we broke up. He had treated me poorly. I know i cheated. I know i shouldnt have but thats no reason to control someone. To tell them to not talk to anyone.
So a few more boyfriends went by. All the same. Except they just broke up with me. And one day i asked Cooper. Just like that he was my bf. And it went the same way like every other time. I cheated. And got busted. We went through the whole you tell him or i will thing. I dont remember who told him but i remember that he didnt seem to care. Unlike everyone else he didnt get pissed off. And so i did it again because im an idiot. And finally one time i was sitting with the other guy going through his music. I came across a three days grace song i never heard and they were my favorite band so i listened to it. It was last to know and it hit me like i ran into a brick wall. Shortly after that i broke up with Cooper. I just couldnt do it anymore it ripped me apart inside and still does. I know hes going to read this and i want him to know that through everything i put him through in the past and the present for him to still stick around. To still be here for me when i need a friend. He deserves so much more. Thank you for always being my friend no matter what.
6 comments
You don’t really sound like you want to be monogamous at the moment.
I don’t think it’s so much that as it is a mental problem. Honestly I’d love to just relax and have that whole super ready when hubby comes home, clean house sorta thing. I’m just prone to making mistakes I think. Purposely destroying my life. Besides that story was 3-4 yeas ago.
Plus there’s the fact that I’m 19
I think muspelhem is right. You are having a hard time accepting the fact that you can’t be monogamous and that is okay. I suggest that you start a new relationship by telling the person from the beginning that you don’t believe in monogamy. Sure, it will turn off some prospects, but it will save you a lot of headaches. Then again, you may find that there are a lot of us that think the same way.
I don’t believe in monogamy, but I practice it because society says so. But that’s me, it doesn’t have to be your life. I do wonder, would you get upset if you found out that your partner have been seeing someone else? If the answer is no, then there you go. If it truly does not bother you too much, then ask Cooper if he feels the same way about monogamy.
He already knows that I don’t like that idea. And you may or may not be right I have no idea. But what I do know is that watching your mother cheat then hide it for years from your “father” because you didn’t want them to get a divorce, really chances your outlook on relationships. Cheating is wrong and you shouldn’t do it. I mean if it’s an agreed upon thing between the 2 people then sure but I’m not agreeing. Cheating is still cheating.
Perhaps is time to try therapy, otherwise you won’t be able to have a faithful relationship. These kind of behavior does not resolve itself with time or by finding your ‘soulmate’. Typically, as time passes in a marriage, the couple tend to go through periods where one partner is not as interested in sex as the other, their sex drives get out of sink. So, if you don’t find a way to resolve this, then you may have difficulty succeeding in a long term relationship.
I agreed that cheating is cheating, but that definition is and should be establish by the couple. Right now a majority of people consider that, even if the couple is open to other relationships, it is still cheating or not an acceptable behavior or arrangement. And I have a problem with that because it is an imposition standard on others that just don’t see relationships as one to one only.
To me, the notion that one person marries another and now they are both obligated to make each other happy no matter what is just not possible. One person can’t fulfill all of our emotional human needs. And this isn’t just about sex, is about growth as a person, connections, interactions, understanding, etc. The closes example I can come up to illustrate my point is the best friend. The BF relationships are not that different from that of a newly weds. At the beginning, it feels that the BF is the only one you need and it can go on for years. Eventually, you add other friends to your circle because, as we grow, our views and interest change a little, we change. So, having other friends seems perfectly normal and even healthy to the BF relationship.
I don’t know if I made any sense, but then again, here I am on this site. So maybe there is something else wrong with me and my point of view regarding relationships, which may account for part of my condition 🙁