Hey. If you guys remember I said I wont post anymore because it only makes it worse for me but this doesnt count coz its not a rant. Anyway sorry for wasting up space here with non-suicide related stuff. I am trying to change my life for better now. It is really slow and so far nothing has really changed on the outside, I am still addicted to weed, but I feel like my mindset is gradually getting better. I try to push myself out of my comfort zone, even was on a few dates for the first time of my life. It didnt really escalate to anything because I was too shy to make a move but I had a good time and it is the first step at least. Next time I will try to push myself a little further. Waves of depression are still hitting me everyday. Its like I feel good and then suddenly out of nowhere I just get the feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin. Idk how better to describe it. Listening to music helps me with this a lot and thats what I wanted to share with you. I feel like music influences your state of mind so much. Before I was mostly listening to slow, depressed emo, goth music like lil peep and stuff. I still love his music and that type of music in general but I am now trying to stay away from it coz I feel like I make myself feel worse and more emotional by listening to it. I kinda like making myself feeling worse in some way, Im sure you know what I mean. But I want to stop. Recently I have been listening to scarlxrd and his new album infinity. It is a masterpiece in my opinion. Whenever I feel like shit or just emotional I turn it on and it just calms my emotions, it almost feels therapeutic to me. It is like rap mixed with metal, rly unique style of music. I just thought maybe you ll like it too. Love you guys <3 and again sorry :). lemme know what u think of it
YOU´R NOT MY ENEMY, I AM MY ENEMY!
My other favorite songs include: Living legend, Demxns and angels, Deathpunch, I want tx see yxu bleed, STFU …
4 comments
It’s good that you’re trying to get better. Keep at it.
I like the instrumentation.
Thanks. Will try
It has deep meaning. You’re not my enemy. I am my enemy. That part also hit me as it seems to have hit you. It’s a great song. Most people would knock it for the screaming. But I suppose, screaming is kinda what we feel inside sometimes right? And what better way to portray those inner screaming voices than with screaming voices.
Ye exactly. When I feel like screaming inside I find great relief in listening to screaming. Almost as if I screamed myself but he can do it better 🙂 Glad u like it friend.