So many of us………….. But all alone

I don’t know what to answer, you are so right, so many of us, and yet we are alone. Maybe because we don’t represent a big percentage of the population. And so many people are so mean, and I will never understand that.

I tried to commit suicide several times, last time more than 10 years ago. The first time I thought about suicide, I was about 7 years old. I still think about my death, but I no longer really want to commit suicide, because, anyway, the only thing that I am sure about is that I am going to die anyway one day or another, and time flies 🙂
I also have read a lot about people who had Near Death Experiences, including several doctors (for example Raymond Moody and Eben Alexander), and some people who had commited suicide. It is clear that there is something beyond, but suicide seems to be a bad way to go there, every single testimony I have read about people who had nearly died and came back after a suicide attempt were very negative, and they were not particularly religious people.
My parents would have been totally devastated if I had commited suicide. I have 3 brothers, but we are not very close. I am the youngest, my parents are getting old, I will try to take care of them if they need, as nobody else will do. When they die, I will have no family, apart from my brothers, who have been mean to me all my life. I am 34, when I have nobody I will go and travel the world, it will be dangerous but who cares ?

Sorry I only talk about myself, but I hope maybe my experience can help you somehow.

PS: I am french, sorry if there are mistakes.