Lately I’ve been talking to this guy..
He’s out of my league but he seemed to be interested in me (somehow).
We went out once and… He keeps wanting to see me and all but always cancels our plans on the same day we planned on meeting each other.
I get that he’s busy and that he has a strict schedule but it’s not doing any of us any good.
I feel like he’s interested in me because he’s bored with his life.
I’ve been told he’s quite the flirt with everyone so… Yeah
Am I over thinking or.. Should I just stop freaking out about everything?
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3 comments
Your intuitions are usually correct, if he’s a flirt he could be juggling several women which is why he seems so busy all the time. However if he continues to cancel after making plans, then do the exact same thing to him in return and don’t go out with him, unless he’s genuinely sorry and has a legit excuse.
Speaking personally, I never take girls that I’m interested in for granted. For me she’d be the most important part of my life and if I made plans I’d stick to them or would only make them when I was sure I wouldn’t cancel.
Plus the sort of girls I’ve dated wouldn’t put up with being jerked around, one or two chances and then it’s over. You could try being direct but it seems he’s just playing you. Find a man who’s genuinely interested.
Would you accept his behaviour if he were below your league?
Often how we are initially treated in a relationship, and our reaction to it, sets a precedent for the future of the relationship. People rarely change. Scrutiny is certainly important, and if uncertainty creeps in so early on perhaps it is worth unpacking. The first few dates are the honey moon period and with the right person is beautiful.
If there is a valid reason, and effort is made to reschedule, I’m always understanding. Although, most people would not give more than one or two chances, because why start a relationship where you are not the most important person in their life? I’ve only ever rescheduled a date when I was really unwell, and I felt truly awful doing so, but luckily, she understood.
“Would you accept his behaviour if he were below your league?”
Bingo.
We all tend to accept being treated like doormats if we think the other person is out of our league (has something to offer us that we can’t get).
Conversely, we all tend to be impatient with those who are below our league (taking more than they offer).
It’s rare that 2 people are in the exact same league. Whether it’s money, looks, or mental stability, one person in the relationship usually pulls the other one up.
The trick is to accept your role and deal with the imposition. It’s the same as tolerating a lousy job that pays great.