Really struggling to not take drugs or drink. Often when I’m sober it feels like I’m dying inside. I’m recovering from trauma from narcassistic abuse, sexual abuse etc…I often feel so close to giving up but I don’t want to. I want to find my strength and to become my own person. Have my own personal boundaries and to actually have love in my soul. I’m broken.
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I hear ya. I can relate. Almost gave in yesterday and today. We must find our strength. It ain’t easy, that’s for sure! I’m only on week 3. The cravings come and go but now I feel just like you said in this post….dead inside. I don’t know about you but suddenly I’ve become very disconnected from myself. Almost like life seems pointless and bland. I can’t stop thinking about how messed up the human experience really is. When we drink it’s almost like an escape from life’s horrible reality. Most of life is actually suffering in comparison to those few enjoyable moments.
Congrats of being on week 3. Yeah I can really relate to feeling dead inside, I’ve felt it since I remember. It comes and goes. I’m either feeling too much or nothing at all. Yeah life can seem so fucking bleak and disturbing at time but I hold onto the thought that actual reality is a beautiful thing, it’s muddling through all the bullshit and bullshit programming I’ve been through, don’t know if you can relate?