I cant stand it. He treats me like a queen dont get me wrong. But hes just so negitive. He acts like everyone hates him and the worlds out to get him. All i hear all day long is i hate this that and the other thing. Hes doing it right now. Ive talked to him about it before and i understand that hes tired and stressed but that doesnt mean i can handle that much negitivity. I dont want to leave him over this but i just cant do it. Hes been this way for years. I understand you cant change over night. I wish i could…..idk 🙁
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My ex was exactly like this…it gets tiring and eventually it puts you down too
Try to help him but just know he won’t change until he actually really wants to
I’ve tried. He never listens. He says he’s trying to change but that doesn’t seem to last long. I’m tired of talking to him about it
I see a common pattern there. I went through something similar. He had negativity bursts and sometimes I couldn’t bear it, specially because it helped to continuously create a poorer image of him. After some events and lots of talking, he cut it to some degree. Now, when he complains I also try to minimise the importance I give to it and counteract with some hug to cheer him up. Or to try it, at least; since it can backfire at times.
a hug…that doesnt sound like a half bad idea. thank you. ill mention it to him and try that 🙂
? Happy to read that.
Behind the hug is the idea of “disarming” the person. I found some people cope with negativity, bad mood, etc in others via a clean cut of the other’s current behavior. Whether it is by affection signs, humor, introducing a topic known to produce other feelings (e.g., even anger/incredulity to move away from sadness), etc; that’s up to one to decide.
PS: ^ The “?” above was a different smiling emoji. For some reason it didn’t render well and now the sentence looks weird. Meh.
we agreed id hug him…i hope it works. ill let you know. ill make a post with your name so you can look for that 🙂
Get him to listen to Tolle. If that doesn’t help, Im out of ideas.
That guy is good at explaining what is going on with your husband.
Dude’s got to come to see that it’s his own mind adding to situations that makes it so bad.
Then he can start fighting it. Tolle says when the negativity arises, you are to observe it and not react to it. Eventually that will fix it. Takes practice. First few times it’ll get away on you.
Have you tried listening to him?