i’m turning 19 really soon, my sister is 8. i’m currently in my 2nd year of bachelors (living in the middle east, studying in india). my parents have been emotionally abusive and manipulative from 2015. it’s too fucking hard to explain and idh the time to type it out rn. they’re extremely conservative, religious and superstitious. i cannot share any details of my personal life with them as they’ll use it at a later time to constantly belittle me. they openly said they don’t like me as i’m an atheist and haven’t prayed in years. till 2017 they used to beat me up if i didn’t obey but they gave up soon after that. i genuinely want to fucking move out, go to a country far, far away and start afresh. but the only person i care about is my sister and she’s too young to understand abuse. it’s gonna take her at least 10 years to comprehend. my plan is to complete bachelors, hopefully get a scholarship and go abroad for masters. the problem here is that i cannot rebel at home, i have to stay quiet and watch them abuse my little sister. if i rebel or speak up in a harsh manner, they won’t fund my higher education and a higher edu. is my only chance of going far away. how am i coping up with it? i smoke and vape frequently and dive into things i like to keep myself busy all the time so i won’t have to talk with them. i’m always in my room avoiding everything else. no, i’m not going to go to the cops or child protective services or whatever, i just wanna get the fuck outta here soon.
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As someone who’s been in a similar situation, I’ll tell you this:
You may love someone, you may have a clear goal (complete bachelors, hopefully get a scholarship and go abroad for masters) but all this is not going to make anything easier. In fact, it’ll get harder unless you have a consistent outlet through which you can fix yourself up. Yes, your life has problems, but YOU are also the one who fixes them. A tool that’s broken cannot fix something else. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your problems, then you can take care of your sister. Remember that, and never hesitate to reach out to me. I’m here for you.