It’s so funny.
I’m better off dead. Maybe it’s true, no one will miss me, and I know that’s such a blanket statement, but it’s true. People around me don’t know me. I know that it’s my fault that they don’t because I push everyone away and never let anyone in. They won’t understand if I did anyway. No one truly knows me, so they won’t miss me because they will miss the part I willingly show them, a mask. I’m so tired, and I know I’m not the only one. I might not have it so bad compared to other people, but I feel so useless and pathetic every day I want it to end. I’ve seen people who’ve had it way worse than me, thrive and make it, and seeing them makes me feel so weak. It just ensures how useless I really am. I don’t want to live anymore. Someone might be reading this while I’m dead, or no one will ever come across this post because it’ll be lost within the many others that say the same thing. I don’t want to live.
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5 comments
Most of the people I know that have had it worse than me are dead. But Im older now than most here im guessing. I do have a son who is not doing well either so I do hold on for him. I never want him to feel the pain I feel that his mother has caused me. I think a prescription of some valiums would do both of us some good right now. I can relate to you because you know what I feel. I do find some comfort in that. Hang in there. You are not alone in this pain.
I can relate 100% with everything you’ve said. Our life story might be different, but our thoughts are the same.
I have nobody that counts on me and if someone came into my life I push them away hoping not to drag them down to my place
I do the same thing. Never but never let anyone close. I’ve always been this way. Trust is something that is hard for me. Very closed brain and life. Never but never let anyone close. You only get hurt.
Not sure if you’re girl or boy, but my christimas was shit, so you’re right, ur not alone feeling what you’re feeling. I’ve battled depression many times and lost the will to live. Hoplessness, lost of interest of activities, and ect.