(this is just a ramble )
Ever since I was little, I felt like was not wanted.
The more I think of anything , the less I can do. I didn’t ask to be born, and with time I have left, I will find strength to die by my own hand. I like to hope so at least.
I was given many things other people would like to have, I didn’t have too bad life, but it sucks too much.
Does it suck for everyone? Do I get the right to complain? Who do I even ask that? Not even the people who suffer the most can know, for suffering in itself has no meaning, unless given by the sufferer, but most pains endured have no meaning, no gain, nothing good that comes out of them .
4 comments
Everyone has a right to their own feelings, they are yours alone and can’t be taken from you. Though maybe it would be nice if they could.
Your definitely not alone in feeling this way! I do 99% of the time. It makes life miserable and im sorry your feeling this way! Hopefully you can find a good support system for you to help.
“for suffering in itself has no meaning, unless given by the sufferer”
Powerful thought. I don’t know what to make of it but I’ll probably be up most of the night thinking about it. There’s a pathological condition where some people’s brains don’t receive pain signals. You can slam their thumb with a hammer and they will feel the hit but it doesn’t register as pain. Wouldn’t it be great if we could approach life’s daily suffering like that? We would be conscious of all the things that are wrong but it wouldn’t register as pain. No suffering. Because as you said, suffering is entirely invented by the sufferer.
I must admit I have seen a lot of good come out of my suffering but that doesn’t make me feel much better when Im in a deep dark depression. I think life sucks for most people but they hide behind facades, work, chaos like my ex and of course drugs and alcohol and many other things. Life has sucked about 95% of the time for me.