Who am I?

I feel this too my core. I have no answer for depression. But when I was struggling with my identity I found some things that might help you like they helped me.

One of them is that people are mirrors. It is impossible to see yourself, figuratively and literally, without a mirror. We know ourselves through reflections, and the people around us act as mirrors that reflect fragments of ourselves back us. We use their words and reactions to build a picture of ourselves in our own mind. Not all mirrors are created equal. We walk through a literal carnival funhouse of mirrors on a daily basis, most twisted and warped, distorting our own self image and affecting our sense of self worth. But some are healthy, and worth looking into. To begin to know yourself, look for yourself in someone you can trust and respect, by being honest with them. Have you opened up to anyone about your depression? Truly said how you feel in that moment without holding back? If you don’t feel like you are truly showing yourself to someone, you will never feel like the reflection they give back is valid, because it’s not really you, is it? There was a distinct difference in my sense of self after I started to acknowledge my depression as a part of who I am and talk to people about it and how I truly felt. That demon is there. Talking about it with someone is the first step to getting your wish to be different. Because you will see it and define it a little bit better each time you do, and that can turn itself into understanding and a self image that might challenge how you feel about yourself.