I feel stupid writing this here, but i have nowhere else to say this. So, i kind of developed some serious feelings towards this guy for the first time in my life. I think that they are serious emotions because i have never wanted to be with someone in a relationship before. We text every day, all day and i love it. It has already been a few days since i have seen him because we live faraway from each other. And as time passes my feelings have started to go cold. Now I’m confused if i really have “serious” feelings for him. Is it normal to go cold after not seeing someone you like for a few days? And also, i hate the fact that i told a few of my close friends about this crush, because if all of a sudden i don’t feel anything they are going to start talking about how weird that is. By the way, I’m 22 and have never been in a relationship and everyone finds it strange.
I am so confused, i just don’t know what to do.
4 comments
Never loved someone either and sure I will not do , I’m close to your age , what I recognized from watching people around me , is that love made them give up on their dreams and humiliated and stressed and destroyed , I never saw someone happy by love , it is just a matter of time (approved in statistics) and will be either betrayed or the feelings will die , love is temporary and something that people use as mechanism to get something or destroy each other lifes , it is chemical reactions in biology that will change by time , it is not wired for you to stop feeling and really it is a good thing since you didn’t lose time , just don’t be stupid and believe that something called love exist.
I don’t think there are reliable standards for romantic relationships. You choose when you leave. If the attraction is gone, sometimes you’ve got to go. The last relationship I had before my current one was with a young lady who I lost all attraction for a month in, and it took me nine months to figure out how to leave the relationship.
So if your gut is saying leave, it might be right.
The truth is that over time the relationship will become less exciting, because you’ll get used to it. At that time you’ll start to notice the less likeable qualities in your partner. Are they deal breakers? You tell me.
The exception is abuse, if the way someone is treating you qualifies as abuse, you get out, it’s not up to you, get to help right away.
Oh, also makes a difference if the relationship is sexual. If it is, you’ll need to back down more slowly. It’s unkind to cut off a sexual relationship suddenly.
I have had a few crushes, and this has happened to me before. My feelings went cold after not seeing them for a while, but then all the feeling rushed back when I saw them again. So I’d say what you’re experiencing is fairly normal. But if the feelings don’t come back when you see him again, maybe you simply lost interest?
Also I think its completely normal not to be in a relationship at that age; and some people don’t ever get into a relationship at all, and that’s okay too. It’s different for everyone.
It’s natural to start losing feelings for someone if it’s a long-distance relationship. It’s because you’re not seeing that person regularly to reinforce those emotions.
Plus reality sets in esp. if it will be hard or nearly impossible to be together. I was on a trip that was over 600 kms from my city and met an amazing girl there.
We had such great chemistry that we even talked about marriage and moving to the same city but neither of us was truly willing to make a huge sacrifice of leaving their friends/family/city behind. We stayed in touch but over time we just drifted apart.
I’m sure your friends will realize it’s long distance, so it’s difficult to make it work. Just tell them you decided to put it aside because it won’t work out (assuming that’s the case). Also feelings can change even if the person lives close to you…it’s just tougher when they live far away.
Also I think a lot of people put up a front, most people live pretty ordinary lives, but they try to pretend everything is so fun and exciting for them.
In general I personally don’t care what people think, since I have to live with that person-so I’d go after a person that made me happy. Though I admit I do enjoy making my friends a little jealous by dating someone who is a bit out of their league.