Not that I am actively suicidal *right now,* but I am generally suicidal 24-7 bc there is no purpose nor any meaning to my life. I have tried to find one but to no avail.
What is the point of living? Or rather the point to MY living?
I’m not religious, so no comfort from living for a “higher power” or whatever.
I haven’t spawned any kids, so I don’t have to stay or nurture any non-existent beings.
I haven’t done anything meaningful in life- I haven’t created anything, saved any lives, etc. I am not spectacular in any way (maybe spectacularly depressed and spectacularly dark, morose and sarcastic). I haven’t written any books, music, invented anything, or done anything that makes an actual difference (and no, no more “volunteering” crap/advice).
If I never existed, nothing would have changed.
If I ceased to exist, nothing would change.
And no, no one will care if I disappear from the Earth either (yet another reason for my depression, the lack of any meaningful relationship or anyone who loves or cares about me).
The only reason I am still alive is bc it takes effort to kill oneself. And they f*ing make it hard at that. Just give us all who don’t want to live a pill or injection and off we go. No more using resources (Earth is already overcrowded and is pushed to it’s limit bc there’s so many damn humans on Earth).
Sigh, what is the point of it all? To be miserable until the day I die?
I am envious of the rest of the population that are either happy or “ok.” Heck, I’d settle for “ok” rather than be depressed 24-7, but that is my fate eh?
What is the point of it all? Sigh…
4 comments
Life is suffering. No matter what else it is, there are two undisputable facts about life, the way I see it – we’re here to learn and we’re here to suffer. Noone is exempt.
I’m not sure we’re “here to learn” either. Over how many millennia that humans have inhabited the Earth, have we learned from ANY of our mistakes? None. Shitty and dumb humans keep doing shitty and dumb things, over and over and over again. -_-
While I am not religious, I have to agree that we’re put here on Earth to suffer. What else explains “life”? The way life is structured- limited resources- pits every human against each other. And therein lies all the fuckery that takes place in this world to get more of one’s share for oneself, which means screwing over others…
Oh my god! i read the whole blog of yours and trust me i have never felt so much relatable ever before. What u said is exactly goes in y mind all day long
Thanks. Now the question is, what is the solution? Sadly there is none (aside from death and not partaking in any of this insanity).
-_-