everyone around me is applying to universities and figuring out their moves for after we finish school. i’m stuck. not wanting to go forwards and not knowing how to even go forwards. it’s like everyone around me has their whole life figured out and has some kind of idea of what plans they have for themselves and i’m sinking in the quicksand no one else sees. and i know i don’t need to have my life figured out, i guess i’m just avoiding it because thinking about living hurts
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I can relate, two years ago after graduation I failed to attain a next posting, and now am uncertain. It’s better to be uncertain than to waste time and money on something you are half hearted about. University is punishing. I wouldn’t advise going unless you’ve run out of better options.
But what do you want to do? Where do you want to live? How much will that lifestyle cost? That’s how you find a direction. I want to do professional research, and so I have to find an area where professional research is well paying enough with good hours such that I can get away with doing that and little else.
Focus on today, what can be done, and what is out of your control. What everyone else is doing doesn’t matter, most people fail to question whether their work satisfies, and that’s how midlife crisis is so rampant.