i’m just so angry all the time. from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep. sometimes it’s dulled and turns into to numbness but every time i get a flashback to what he used to do to me i’m filled with this insane intense rage and i can’t escape it. i used to just be sad but that’s finally turned to anger and idk how to deal with it. i’m angry at the world, angry at him for doing all he did, angry at everyone who still believes i ‘wanted it’. i’m fucking livid with myself though. i let myself be abused for 11 months just to repress it and then get resurfaced. i hate the fact i’m becoming dependent on alcohol to deal with it. i’m just angry at life
3 comments
3 comments
Anger is a sign that something needs to change. It’s a very good sign, in this case. That fact that you take some appropriate personal responsibility for the situation (by saying “I let myself be abused for 11 months just to repress it…) demonstrates that you are mature, tough mentally and possess emotional intelligence). If some p.o.s. abused me for no reason, I’d be irate, too. I bet you’re a kick ass person.
“That fact that you take some appropriate personal responsibility for the situation (by saying “I let myself be abused for 11 months just to repress it…)”
im not sure id call this a good thing. no one really lets themselves be abused, the abuser emotionally/mentally kicks the sh*t out of them until they cant get back up.
what this person should be proud of is getting out, not blaming themselves for what someone else did.
to expand on it.
a person “allows themselves to be abused” for 3 reasons (that i know of)
1) like i mentioned above, the person emotionally kicks the sh*t out of them, manipulates them ect
2) its caused by previous abuse that they believe this is what they deserve
3) would be the case they mentioned. what they did was a coping mechanism. a coping mechanism that they wouldnt have needed if they werent being abused.
they didnt allow themselves to be abused. to say they allowed themselves to be abused puts the blame on them (even if its only a little bit) when the blame is 100% on the abuser.