I’ve tried so many times to end the misery. I’ve tried all the usual suspects. I’m such a big fuck up I can’t even successfully take my own life. Tonight I’m alone, just me and my dog. If I had a gun it would be over. One single shot would lead to endless peace.
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6 comments
I do know the feeling.
I also have a dog and taking care of him is what makes me go one day at the time.
I would never leave him behind.
Sometimes the only reason to keep on living is simply taking care of the only thing you love.
BIG HUG
My pets are the only thing keeping me here also. If I had a gun, the impulse might make the difference. Lucky for our pets we don’t have guns I guess? Try to stay strong for them
I had a gun…and I have two cats. The police ended up with my gun…and my plan is to replace it…I had everything in place to pull the trigger, but Jewel…she kept me from doing it. She is so special, and I hope to not abandon her, but again, my plan is to replace the gun…
That must’ve been a hellish experience..but there’s something almost inspiring about it. When I get into that suicide zone, there’s nothing anyone can say to break me out of it. But 1 look from my pup and I would never be able to pull the trigger. Even the thought of those eyes… Anyway.. Glad you stuck around Once.
I used to think having a gun would make it cake to leave, and yet having had many I still lack the whatever it is to put the mag in rack a round and just squeeze one off for good. But without a mag in it its easy peasy. Cant say for sure why, 50 out of 55 years here and depressed, comes on so bad some days, still unable to do it. Got a decent job and health, no friends, lot of failed relationships. Maybe I am just a closet masochist. Maybe tonight is the night, another shitty day being a doormat, maybe finally tonight…I debated adopting a dog, but if I leave how unfair that would be to it.
…and to think, Bud Dwyer made it look so easy, but he was facing 55 years in prison…