This makes my third attempt in total.
all my life i’ve been told i’m a fuck up and i can’t end up life because i never try but the truth is i try my hardest.
i’m only 15 years old in 10th grade but the feelings are getting the best of me.
i feel like i never do anything and never will, so there would be no point to living or loving
my parents and brothers fail to show me the attention that i so despirately need. I don’t try to feel this way, i don’t want to to feel this way, but i do and i cannot help it.
i currently have a therapist for cutting myself continuously.
i have many friends but i doubt that they really care for me.
i smoke with my friends sometimes because it helps me get away from reality.
One morning i made a choice to try and end everything so i decided to take lots and lots of extra-strength Tylenol (500mg) i remember taking around 30. i decided that today i would take them and still go to school just to make everyone sorry when i die in front of them. i got to class early and told my teach that i felt sick so she came up to me and felt my forehead saying that “you don’t look or feel sick” but i definately was. later i ran infront of the class and puked in the trashcan catching everyones attention. but went home from “illness” and no one ever knew why.
till this day i constantly cut myself andcontemplate my own death and how i would do it. i’ve thought of jumping off the third floor in school, shooting myself with my non-existant gun, running infront of a large truck on the highway, burning myself, cutting my wrists, pills, and drowning, along with certain combinations of these things.
4 comments
i’ve thought about the truck on the highway thing before too. but it’s not worth the thought. nothing about suicide is worth it. we’re all better off dead than living in this world without God, though.
don’t let yourself be without Him, please, please please please, please talk to me! see my post here, please, http://suicideproject.org/2009/11/please-4/
i promise you it gets better.
i don’t know you, but i care about you.
i wish so bad i could just meet you, and talk to you.
i lost my best friend to suicide in november.. november 5th 2009
it kills me everyday, and to see that others think about this. it makes me devastated. i want to help you.
i care about your life , and i know so many people do.
you just need to believe it for yourself
im so sorry darling.
i know the pain
to feel.
that cold, icy feeling when nothing goes right.
bu eventually, hopefully,
you will find something worth fighting for.
possibly look for a shrink.
they dont help much but they do serve as
nice little verbal punching bags.
please,
read my story.
no-dont, id rather not depress you more.
just take it from someone whose been to hell and back.
and is possibly going to take another trip there-
hopefully a one way ticket.
look on the brightside
sweetie.
i know im trying.
I’ve tried taking pills to babe and it didn’t work i felt sick like you did but i ended up just falling asleep after crying so much because i didn’t get to say that i loved my girlfriend. I was like, “I want to die, but oh god i don’t want to leave my baby girl!!! It’s to late though!” Maybe it didn’t work for you because you need to do something??? I think that’s why it didn’t work for me…you have something you need to do in this life before you can leave it all behind.