I’m about to go to jail for something alcohol related. Alcohol is often used as a form of “self medication”. Unfortunately your body and your mind can only consume so much before the alcohol starts consuming you. I think that can be said for any drug addict whether they’re using crystal meth/cocaine/etc. So even if your drug of choice works at first it’ll eventually it’ll eventually start to have negative effects not only on your body but your mind as well. Alcohol felt like a treatment for my social anxiety at first but as time passed and as I continued drinking everyday I slowly started turning into a terrible person. It changed me into something ugly. I wasn’t me anymore and at first I thought that was a good thing because I felt like the sober me was weak and pathetic. But I remember the last time I drank I said some terrible things to someone who was already having a bad day. I don’t remember exactly what I said but because I was so out of it but I remember I made this poor lady cry. As soon as the transaction was complete I took my poison, left the store and made way to a dark alley where I’d always sleep every night. I woke up a couple hours later with bruises all over my body and a busted lip. As I stood up I noticed someone was yelling “F*** YOU!, YOU F***ING DRUNK!…….FUCK YOU!”….”I HOPE YOU DIE”. I was still kinda out of it so I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. I knew this guy was pissed and it sounded like he was in a car but due to my distorted hearing it sounded like the screaming was coming from all around me. So I eventually just started running towards a Walgreens when I suddenly heard; “Where you going there pal?” I stopped in place and turned to my side. 2 dudes were hanging out behind the Walgreens by the dumpsters. They were both pretty muscular. As I tried to catch my breath I began to explain what was going on. One of them kinda laughed and to my surprise they offered to defend me if the angry guy tried to come over and fight me. They too couldn’t tell where the angry guy was but they told me they heard him as well. After a few seconds passed we couldn’t hear the guy anymore. It was still night time, I was still drunk and unaware just how bad my bruises were. I began thanking them for defending me as it was only the second time anyone ever stood up for me. I could sense that they felt second-hand embarrassment for me. 1 of the dudes asked me to sit down and relax for a sec so I did. After a few minutes of chit chat 1 of the dudes was like “Alright I think I’m gonna head back home now…..James, you think you can give this guy a ride back home for me?”. I was shocked……2 random strangers offered to defend me from some angry dude and then offered me to give me a ride home. They didn’t even know who I was yet they decided to help me out. The 2 guys could’ve called the cops on me for being drunk in public but instead they helped me. The guy asked where I was headed and to both of our surprise we lived in the same neighborhood just a few houses apart. I felt pretty good about that because I didn’t wanna feel like a burden. Before I got out the car the guy offered to teach me a few self defense lessons and told me to call him up if I ever wanted to learn. I took his number down on my phone, went inside and straight to bed. The next morning I awoke still feeling clumsy and somewhat drunk. I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see just badly bruised and scratched up I was. My face was covered with scratches and my lip was busted. My arms were covered in dried up blood. As I stood there staring at myself in the mirror I suddenly started getting flashbacks of what had happened the night before. It wasn’t the whole picture but I remembered the 2 guys and the angry dude. Then as the day went on and as I got more sober I reached for my smartphone in my pocket only to discover that it was missing. I panicked and started searching all over my bedroom and all around the house. I couldn’t find it. I got more sober and then I remembered that I made some cashier cry the night before. I’m not sure who the angry guy was but if I had to guess…..it might’ve been that chicks boyfriend or something like that. I never found out and I’d like to keep it that way. As all these memories came back to me I started FEELING again. I felt shame and guilt again. I felt horrible. Ever since that night I haven’t really left my uncles house much. I’ve been sitting in my room alone just feeling deeply ashamed of what I have done. If that lady was the angry man’s girlfriend or something……then I totally deserved to get my ass kicked for saying whatever i said. All I know is that I made her cry and shouldn’t have said those things. All I remember is how I felt while I said whatever I said to her. I remember feeling angry about something…..whatever I was angry about, it was probably something stupid. Alcohol made me say and do things I never would’ve done if I had just stayed sober.