..

I feel like shit, but I suppose that’s no surprise. This past week has been absolutely awful, and it just kept getting worse and worse. I’m constantly overwhelmed and stressed out and I’ve been dealing with a lot more suicidal thoughts and ideas and plans, because I just need it to stop. I feel inadequate and like I can never do anything right, I cant help the people I love when I should be able to. I dont deserve any love or affection or attention. Everything is awful. I constantly think of fading away from this existence. Everything hurts and I’m starting to lose it, breaking down and lashing out more. I just dont know what to do. I dont know anyone around me that I could talk to, I doubt they even care. But I guess I dont deserve to be cared about. I’m so exhausted and I just want a break. I wish I could take a break from life. I’m in so much pain. I really wish I was dead.