How much longer?

Sorry for what you’re going through. I’ve had depression as well…it messed me up for at least 2-3 years during high school and into university.

In my case it was triggered by the realization (in my mind) that I have a bad life, probably won’t get much better, didn’t feel I had any reason to live.

It feels like the greatest truth in your life and there is no ‘fix’ to it, so it becomes your ‘fate’ in a sense.

I eventually broke out of it after realizing that I had a choice to either end my life, or to keep living and see if things will get better because I still had some goals I wanted to achieve. I saw a therapist for a short while but in the end it wasn’t much help.

I’m also glad that I stuck around because a couple of my family members would’ve ended up on the street if I wasn’t there to save them.

It’s crazy how egocentric we are when we’re young and take little notice of other close people in our lives until something bad happens.

Have you ever considered that God hasn’t done what you asked or hoped for because he either doesn’t exist or it’s all a part of his so-called ‘plan’ and prayer won’t make any difference?

Also that it’s only us humans on this big round rock in the coldness of space, nobody (divine) will save us, it’s up to ourselves?

Perhaps there are organizations that can provide help for the ptsd and depression, because it sounds like you’d need a therapist on an ongoing basis till you improve-assuming that’d even help (given the experience you mentioned).