So this girl (wife of a friend) is a flight attendant. I don’t know anything about her but that’s not the point. All she wanted to do was become a F.A. so she can travel the world. It’s a great way to do it if you’re young and healthy and can withstand being on a plane all the time, which she is perfectly fine with. She recently got married to my online friend, they have a house together, he makes very good money, she makes ok money, oh yeah they live in friggin’ HAWAII (jealous). But anyway, they’re both very happy. She’s a F.A. who gets to travel the world, he is a cable guy (but he makes really really good money, more than most of the white collar professional people I know and his job is actually MORE stable then theirs). They love each other and all they want in life is to eventually have kids and that’s pretty much all they want.
They both never aspired to be top of their field, or enter very competitive fields, or anything of the sort. He did terrible in school and she did ok. They focused on just having fun and enjoying life when they were younger- no killing themselves for grades or to get into a top elite university. Nope, none of that. They had fun and enjoyed life as kids/teens/in college etc. Oh they also come from loving families so neither has any trauma so they grew up carefree and loved.
As adults now, they only care about having enough money to go out and do the things they want (travel, eat, have fun, etc), they have a huge house and get rental income from it, so their mortgage is break even. They want kids eventually. And that’s all they want.
Anyhow, point is- people like them only aspired to have a good enough job, live in a nice house, and have kids. That’s it. And they’re both VERY happy. There is no extra “thing” they want like meaning or whatever. Both of them don’t think like that. They’re not deep thinkers. Hence, they’re not bogged down by the stuff we are bogged down by.
Some of us on here, like me, have high goals, like achieving something meaningful in life, or become very successful. I had such goals bc I grew up with nothing and wanted to make something of myself, so I aspired to BECOME and DO so many things. If you aim for the stars, 1- you’ll likely fall short and 2- you won’t be happy if you fall short. Versus if you were “normal” ppl who aimed for mediocrity, then you’re very happy when you reach it.
Hey, I’m not knocking that guy and girl- heck, they have great lives. They got exactly what they wanted in life and are very happy.
It isn’t something I can change. I can’t change my desire to WANT to achieve more in life. I can’t be like everyone else who’s fine with working an average 9-5 job, then getting married and having children. Other ppl seem satisfied with that. And that’s great for them.
But what about me? Especially now that I’m physically compromised so I’m not very likely to achieve any goddamn thing. What then? Am I bound to be miserable for the rest of my life bc my WANT to achieve something isn’t going to happen? And as I said earlier, that’s not something I can change. Some ppl just have that innate desire. Well, I USED to have that burning fire, that impeneterable drive. But that drive is gone and only the desire remains, and that’s shit bc a desire without drive = not going to happen = unhappiness.
For most ppl I know, all they want is a good enough job with good enough pay, and a good enough house, and a good enough partner, and kids. That’s it. They don’t desire finding “the one,” good enough is good enough. They don’t care about finding a job they have great passion for. Good enough is good enough. Long as their boss is not a dick and it’s not bad hours and pay is decent. They don’t desire to achieve something “meaningful,” they don’t desire to be very successful. A good enough job is good enough. And they’re happy with that.
I wish I could be avg joe and just desire mediocrity. Bc mediocrity is attainable. So that means happiness is attainable.
1 comment
Hmm, I suppose it’s a fair point. I have a couple who I’m close friends with and they have a terminally bland life. He works managing a gas station, she does customer service for a telecom company. They’ve got a nice house, newer cars than mine, and that’s nice that those things are enough for them….
I couldn’t want to live in a climate closer to sea level than I am now, nor warmer. I’m too warm as is. But I’m trying to aspire to attainable things; a decent work from home desk job, a house in a climate I don’t find so repellant. I don’t know that it’ll make me happy, but it will someday make me free, perhaps anyway. Better to try is my attitude right now.
Then after I attain some degree of economic freedom, maybe I can work towards things I actually care about. I tried going straight for it, meaningful work, without economic security it’s miserable. I’m atypical though, for a long time I’ve been aware of how many things a job can’t provide, and up until recently I chased meaning over financial rewards.
I think about stories I’ve read about people that prostitute themselves for a few years while they’re young and pretty, and they never have to work again. That’s an attainable thing; sell your body for a few years to a really generous buyer, be free.
Then again, as cheerful as all that sounds, I’m prepared for it to implode, as such things often do. The difference will be my marketable skills will have ample applications on the black market, which while less moral, might be more financially rewarding.