and that’s my open, a big f-you to the concept of holidays. Well wishes of course to people who actually enjoy them, but also, what’s the deal with that?
I hate holidays. It’s like “here’s your only assured day off, also lots expected of you on that day”….. maybe it’s just me? I hear this complaint about Christmas, but I’ve upped my game for dealing with Christmas, I dissassociate from the whole concept for a good two months, celebrate, then go back to dissassociating. So my Christmas really lasts two days, and I can deal with that.
But it’s July 4th and around here that means it’s America’s Birthday or some sh*t. First off, on that subject, I think it’s overstayed it’s welcome by at least 50 years. It’s that situation where you go to an elderly relative’s birthday party and most of it is; “You’re still alive?! WHY?!” and the elderly relative is all out of touch, has no idea what’s going on and wants to tell you a story about Lawrence Welk….. like you know who that is. I do, I had a lot of elderly relatives.
Then there’s the fact that patriotism doesn’t mean what it used to. When I was a kid it was this whole “be part of the solution” energy, keeping the neighborhood clean was “patriotic.” That’s nice, I could get behind THAT.
but now being patriotic means being a little racist and also refusing to admit that anything ever has gone wrong. And I don’t want to get into that, which is why the 4th sucks.
It also involves eating a lot of meat, which I can’t anymore because I’m getting old
Then it involves either watching or setting off fireworks, both terrible activities. Watching fireworks means waiting two hours to park in a field then you walk two miles to sit sweaty and uncomfortable for another two hours to watch bright lights in the sky……. HUGE buildup, lackluster deliver.
But setting off fireworks, man is that the scam. Fireworks are crazy expensive. I could spend my entire monthly budget for food, gas and living expenses, and those fireworks would last an hour and a half. That’s at least $500 per half hour. How do I get that kind of compensation? I’d be set in three days.
I’m broke, so no fireworks, which is really for the best.
So I’m the grinch of July 4th, come teach me the meaning of the holiday mythical whos… I wish I had a mountain to sit atop of and glower at the whole thing. All the noise noise noise.
but holidays suck, to return to my thesis. The 4th is just a big parade for how little we’ve accomplished, and how low standards are for “enjoyment.”