Every time I create a connection with someone, whether that be a potential new friend or romantic partner, something goes wrong and I lose their contact info. So many phone numbers on pieces of paper have been misplaced and lost. So many phones have been broken and lost seemingly as a result of making a friend.
This has happened over 20 times now.
Prior to this I had a hard time making connections because in grade school, my father used to move a lot so I’d often switch schools every 1-2 years. It’s like companionship is forbidden for me or something. It’s so frustrating because many of these people reached out to me when I was at my lowest, so I know they were decent people. Now they probably think I didn’t care and that sucks just thinking about it.
Things are already pretty hard as they are because I have AVPD and Social Anxiety so to have the few chances that I had taken away from me just destroys me on the inside.