I am ALONE in this world.
I have NO ONE.
No one to love me, no one for me to love.
Deprived of Love from Day1 of birth, this sad soul has never known love. Only hate.
Is it a wonder this sad sack of meat is utterly broken?
Why did I have to be born to suffer this shit life?
Why wasn’t I aborted? Fuck this shit called “life.”
14 comments
Okay, there’s one thing you gotta understand. Outside of this site and a psychologist’s office and the few rare diamonds scattered on the planet—nobody cares about our gripes, complaints and self pity. I know you feel alone but you’re far from alone. Feelings are transient and flow, they are ever changing variables. You may f e e l alone but in reality you have people that care about you. I highly doubt you’ve only felt hate from day one. There’s plenty of love out there, just gotta find it. Feel free to keep venting as much as you need until your feelings or circumstances change.
one question i have to ask is, WHY don’t people care? i’ll never really understand, given it’s much more beneficial, selfishly speaking, to look out for others.
Because the vast majority are callous to the suffering of others. Time either hardens or softens people—sometimes both in the best of ways. Everyone is just looking to survive cleaving to their fragmented pride to maintain their social persona. In the interest of self preservation—another agenda—some people seem to care about the wellbeing of other people but it is usually for selfish gain or to satisfy some need. You raise a valid point though, that exasperated WHY don’t people give a single fuck about each other. Many don’t have life experience or experienced chronic pain or pain in general that rips open their self concept and smashes open their narrowminded perceptions of reality. That is the shamanic spiritual path though, someone who can feel deeply the pain of others. I liken most people to automatons that live their stupidly insular routine and never had a pattern interrupt to wake them from the hive mind. I reached a point where I told myself I wont let this person, who seems to be stubbornly adverserial and antagonistic to me, to kill the love in me. I wont let them fill me with hatred and become callous assholes like them. Though sometimes, often times, you do need to assert yourself and fight back. The world is a ruthless place though—it’s ass backwards. The way humans live in these giant settlements and cities, it breeds a type of emotional toxicity when too many humans are clustered together. Communities aren’t real communities anymore with true altruistic intentions.
i’m just saying, it really doesn’t pay. it’s not about anything high-minded, it’s just that it’s much harder to do things on your own.
I’m slightly confused. What doesn’t pay exactly? I’m not following. You mean people being callous and selfish doesn’t pay?
yeah, in the long run, it’s not *that* beneficial for personal success.
There is no one that cares about me, and yes I am alone.
Just bc we post on a website and occassionally some ppl reply on a post doesn’t mean I have ppl who love me or care about me on this site. I’m not knocking the fact that we do have SP and it exists, but I would hardly say anyone here ‘genuinely’ cares about me. We are all just a bunch of posts and words to each other. We come, we go, we ocassionally read post and reply, and move on.
And how would you know I wasn’t hated since Day1 of birth? I was born of the wrong gender in a third world country that hates girls. So YES, I WAS hated since Day1. I did not have a cushy normal life like everyone else. All I knew was suffering. And to this day all I have is more and more suffering. Have I had a few friendships and few good times in between all my years of life? Sure, but that is like 5% of my life. The rest of the 95% of my life has been pure hell.
And yes, I am alone. I have NO ONE who genuinely cares about me.
Yeah, I believe you. That’s terrible. Fuck eh. You put it so accurately, “we come we go, we occasionally read posts and reply and move on.” Shit… Well, I just wanted to offer some semblance of support. I’m sorry you’ve had it so rough.
I know you mean well, and I know you’re trying to help, but I’m so tired of ppl saying “oh you’re loved” or “you have ppl who care about you” when no one online knows me or my life. I have NO ONE who genuinely cares or loves me. And I need real flesh and blood. Strangers on an internet who type a few words on a post from time to time aren’t what I consider ppl who “love me” or “care about me.” I’m not knocking ppl who reply to my post and comments, and I’m grateful ppl do, but that isn’t “love” or genuine “care.” If ppl really cared, they could reach out to me and message me 1 on 1. But they don’t. Which is fine, this is SP and ppl don’t have to. But that isn’t anything close to what I define as “love” or “caring.”
We have shared misery or shared understanding of some pain. But we are all just anonymous keystrokes at the end of the day.
Again, I know you mean well but no, not everyone has someone who loves them.
I see where you’re coming from. You’re right we are just text on a screen although I was hoping that some comfort could be found in some of these words we exchange.
That is indeed rough then. That’s terrible you have nobody in your corner.
Let me add you can find those people that genuinely care—though few and far between. I’m talking people free from ideology and a religious mandate to “love” on people. People that love and are loving because it is in their nature, they do exist albeit rare.
That’s the problem. While “good” ppl do still exist, they are few and far between, like you said. It’s like 95% or 99% crap, and you have to find the 1%. Well, I’m not finding that 1%. I’ve tried. And I’m tired of trying just to find ppl are assholes time and time again.
Fair enough.
Furthermore, those who love with a religious agenda are always trying to get you to convert to their ideology so it’s never authentic. They’re self righteous dumbfucks who look at the world through a divisive lens—us and them. All this to say: I hear your frustration and I can identify with that sentiment.