I’m the problem

Hi, it’s me, I’m the problem

I don’t sincerely believe it yet, but that’s the framework I have to adhere to until I get out of this wackadoodle place, or until I’m dead, whichever comes first.

because I had to use the restroom

THE AFRONTARY, having bodily functions, AT WORK, like some kind of HUMAN

I asked for an afternoon break every day too, such things aren’t done. Also, I don’t love the very shadow of a certain person who they are all fond of.

I’m being overdramatic, I know that.

I got a little steamed about that, I was going to walk, until I remembered that I don’t have any other options. I mean, being hospitalized, or dead, those are the other options. Not awful options, all things considered.

but I tucked my head, and I took another verbal correction……… number I don’t know how many thousand. In my life, not from this exact agency of my state government, but almost all of them by a paid representative of my state government.  My state government has been trying to correct the problem of me for 27 of my 28 years in it. I’ve been trying to correct the problem of being in this state for all 28. Yes, at 7 years old I was insightful enough to know that moving here was probably not going to end pleasantly.

And some would say self fulfilling prophesy. However remember those thousands of corrections. Those were to make me compromise. So I tried every one of those thousands of suggestions of how to accomodate the state I live in. When they didn’t work, I became the problem again, magically.

That’s how it works to be a victim of abuse. Just in case any of you are. I get to see it at work now, and seeing it externally puts the whole thing in perspective. Patterns of control is what it calls when a man does it to a woman.

When a company or organization does it to a worker it’s called a job.

So if you find yourself in such a situation, keep telling your abuser whatever they need to hear, and wait for the day you are free of them. Never forget the abuse, You can forgive when you are free, but forgetting probably isn’t happening. You may also never be free, but death is a sort of freedom, and I will promise you that someday you’ll be dead, and they can’t get you there.

I also happen to believe that someday there will be a French revolution level of worker uprising, because things where I live (the United States) are that barbaric for the working class. Not violent, I hope. Just as complete, because where I live the organization I work for might as well be a minor god.

Do you want to tick off a minor god if you can’t escape their reach?!