I’ll say one thing for these dark periods, I didn’t know I was as morally flexible as I apparently am, but I’d do almost anything to get out of this god forsaken crap bucket of a town.
I was stuck in traffic, just starting to come unglued when I had the thought; if you commit a federal felony in another state, they jail you there, meaning if I could come up with a severe enough felony I could be free of this crappy town. Yes, I am at the point that a federal prison anywhere but here sounds better than here.
I’m open to other things, equally terrible ideas. I don’t know who’s toes or other appendages or holes you’ve got to suck to get a break in this town, but I’ve started asking because that’s the point we’re at. Somewhere out there is someone with an unsucked something, and they are thinking to themselves “I’d let one of these poor bastards go free if only they’d suck my” and so on….. and I’d do it, nearly whatever that is, if it meant I never had to come back here.
It hasn’t rained in two months, I don’t know if I can take living in this, and of course the barometric pressure is rising so everybody’s stress level rises along with it. Tomorrow there’s supposed to be rain, we’ll see……
I was daydreaming about if some foreign power could develop an intercontinental ballistic missile that could get past our missile defense net….. and I realize that’s about as unlikely as someone setting me free of their own accord. Almost equal amounts of relief, except a hydrogen bomb relieves the suffering of thousands instead of just one. More cost effective, if anyone cares about such things.
It’s just, why, why is this place so awful? If I was to build a city, put my effort into making somewhere home and try to make others like it there too….. this one would provide a handy list of how to scare people off. Crime, homelessness, an entirely car dependent transportation infrastructure, lousy education, lousy economy. If it was a group of sadists that found this place, that would make sense, because it’s awful.
and of course there’s the temptation to light something on fire…… because maybe if we burned an offering to some diety they would bring us some fucking rain. I don’t know who, they’re all equally BS, but the God I was raised believing in doesn’t seem to be answering. I’m open to all options, any that either result in me not being alive, or not having to be alive in this craptastic wonderland of crap.