Do You Feel Like A Failure?

Yes some decisions can be pivotal in our lives, but they don’t have to be ‘terminal.’ It’s important to learn from them, but also to adapt, change and reach your goals in other ways.

I think it’s also key to stay healthy and fit…have regular exercise as a part of your life, because if you lose your health (or get fat/out of shape), your looks go, you develop other health problems needing drugs, you may develop back pain like I have and then that could add to that downward spiral you spoke about.

Mental health is just as important too. I was really angry at my dad for many years because he interfered in my life in negative ways that set me on a bad path.

It was only until I was facing flunking university that I realized being depressed and being mad at him was only causing me to suffer and he didn’t give a damn anyways. So that was my turning point because I knew I was not going to go through with suiicide….and it was the right decision at the time.

I wish I had some wise mentors…I was in bad need of good counseling…but even seeing a therapist didn’t help.

I continued on a wrong track for a long time and was looking for a shortcut out of my situation…and although I had the right ideas, my life wasn’t in the right place to move forward with some plans I had.

Ofc once you’re older it’s all crystal clear in hindsight where you effed up…what you could’ve done instead. When I was in my 20s and I heard of people stuck being bartenders or other lower level jobs in their 40s/50s…I really didn’t want to end up that way either…and tried to improve my career options.

Would I say we are fated to end up in a bad life and never find success/happiness? No I don’t believe that anyone or anything is holding us down…it’s all about decisions, some lead to good outcomes, some bad…but the point is to keep trying.

For example, we could buy a lottery ticket tomorrow and get rich…it’s just sheer luck…there wasn’t anything about us that caused that to happen.

Same thing for being at the right place and the right time…or vice versa.

But I do agree that if depression and other issues come into play, it can be a negative feedback loop or spiral…and the key is to break out of that depression. How I did it was just to change my thinking, hitting the gym hard and re-dedicating myself to my goals.

That at least got me to finish my degree…but it was still really hard to find work in my field. Mind you, had I graduated one year sooner, everyone who got their degree was immediately hired by a local company in my field. Meaning I would’ve been in my field and after a few years earning 6 figures like my friends were.

Instead I missed that boat and life put me on a shiity path. However I haven’t given up yet…and something I’ve been working on for a while might pay off. I came close, but it’s going to take some luck. If it does work out then I’ll be making up for lost time.

At the end of the day though I think people who are not financially well off, not well connected, cannot give their kids a great income in their future, really have no business having kids. And if they have a lot of negative attributes they’ll pass on to their kids, shouldn’t reproduce.

This is no life…trying to chase a dollar, or being a wage-slave, losing your health, looks, wasting your life all to just get some basics like a house that’s paid for and a stable life.

I mean there were some good things I experienced but really it means little if you don’t have a good amount of money in your bank…it’s just a wasted life.