A Million Years

I think I’m sensitive to time. It bothers me when I’m told something will happen within a set time and it doesn’t. It annoys me when people are late to things. Especially when something this important is hanging over my head. Another autistic trait? Or maybe just plain neurosis. I don’t know. Every single day feels like a thousand years. Nights are probably the worst. Nothing on Youtube. No tv shows I want to watch. Games are boring me. Started sending out applications. Can’t find the motivation to fill out simple forms. Especially when some of the places I’m applying to are fucking Mississippi. Got to go where ever there is work. Probably not looking hard enough. Probably will get my ass sent to Missouri or some other hick state. Can’t decide if that’s better or worse than being stuck in Texas. There were probably a lot of things I could’ve done to avoid this. Apply earlier obviously. Maybe actually submit for that letter. Or at least try to work on it some while I’ve been home. Then I could call on the advisor to at least see where things are at. Can’t do that with such a broken promise over my head. Don’t have many options to even see if I even get a rejection. I’m just so tired of rotting in my bed.