Life is hopeless, but there’s a terrifying kind of hopeless when you realize that money, the most powerful thing in world, can’t help you. Can’t even make it better. Can’t do shit.
I can’t even dream of winning a lottery, striking oil or finding buried treasure. Nothing makes a difference. Nothing.
23 comments
I thought “love” was the most powerful thing in the world lol. Isn’t that how the saying goes?
But seriously though, if you had someone, say a gf/wife who was “the one” and understood you, you wouldn’t be happier/less suicidal?
you know that britney spears song- Lucky- “if there’s nothing missing in my life, then why do they tears fall at night?”
most ppl ARE missing something- i mean in her case it’s freedom. but in most ppl’s lives, it’s either money, love, a satisfying career, kids, family, friends, health, recognition- something. most ppl are missing SOMETHING. that also includes fear/procrastination/not going after what you really want.
i’d take a gander and say there likely is something that is missing in your life. it may not be money, sure, but something else.
Nah, my situation is far beyond anything that “love” can fix. I won’t get into it, but as a metaphor imagine a soldier on a battle field with a couple limbs blown off, dying for no conceivable reason. Would love help that dying soldier? Romance novels and Hollywood claptraps try to convince us that love is all you need (not to mention song lyrics). But when you actually get to this point you realize that love is just… “thoughts and prayers”
Money on the other hand is the power to do anything that humans are capable of doing. That dying soldier >>might<< have a chance of waving fistfulls of cash and paying someone to airlift him to the best hospital for the best care. At the very least cash gets people's attention.
But alas, no. When you wave fistfuls of cash in the real world, all you get is more criminals kicking you harder so they can take it away. And ultimately even "the power to do anything that humans are capable of doing" only leads you back to disappointment. The soldier dies alone, painfully, with nothing to hope for other than a quick end. Love, money, gods, thoughts & prayers don't do shit for someone in my position. All I want is a quick end.
i never said “love is all one needs.” i said most ppl who are depressed are missing something in their lives, whatever that is. for me, it is a bunch of things. money, love, health- hell you name it- i lack it. if you think you’re too “far gone,” so be it. i’m not going to argue with you.
“You name it – I lack it”
Damn
and isn’t it so American to think that money “is the most powerful thing”? i mean money IS bloody important- can’t do shit without money in America- but in other socialized countries, countries that have socialized health care and help- it is not money that is most important but things like community, relationships and “face” (how one is viewed by others).
i was born in another country, and USA is so…”cold” when it comes to it’s view of relationships. America- land of “pull-yourself-up-by-your bootstraps and idiotic “rugged individualism.” where i’ve met TONS of ppl who say “i don’t need friends,” “i don’t want friends” etc.
i mean i hate ppl but even i admit i want true meaningful friendships and relationships. humans were meant to be social creatures. unfortunately.
the happiest countries in the world- like scandinavian countries for ex- they don’t focus on money and all the shit we value in the USA. is it a wonder why USA has such HIGH depression rates? we focus on money and career and think it’s the end all be all. or rather, that is what our corporate overlords have brainwashed the masses to WANT and desire. and brainwashed we all are.
anyhow, that’s my rant against the USA. in your specific case- idk your life- but i’m guessing you are missing something in your life that isn’t money.
I’m glad to have lived outside of the continental US for most of my life, because it seems like other countries and even territories don’t value the dollar and profits above all else.
The amount of optimizing and prioritizing of money above all else is fucking ridiculous.
I’m not heartless or driven to the point of madness to just want nothing but to be rich.
I have friends, I have good family. I’m a bit of a loner type but I’m glad I have some level of community to always fall back on. That’s the shit that matters.
Yes, you need money to live, but money in the grand scheme of things is nothing but the representation of the services one provides in a countable currency. Money in and of itself is only useful in that we use it to barter instead of actual food or the things that are created from human hands and multiple man hours.
I’m American. I’m glad to be an American for reasons of overall safety, US rights, security with the US dollar, and there is still a lot of opportunity here compared to other countries. But this obsession with shareholder value and money being above all else makes me angry, it fucks up all the systems we SHOULD have to give to the people who work to make the billionaires rich. It’s to the point where I’m thinking about flat out leaving the US and trying my luck somewhere else.
It’s really frustrating is all.
I agree that Americans have an unhealthy obsession with money and their own ass. But I think all countries would have the same obsession if you dropped fistfuls of cash from the sky. In most 3rd world countries it would lead to a fucking bloodbath.
I think money is great power like anything else, like nuclear power for example, it can be turned into anything but look at what humans do with it.
With that in mind, I may be a minority of 1 but I think money can be a noble pursuit. With money you can build hospitals, schools, nature preserves, clean the ocean, help others. Without money you can’t do any of that. You can’t save the world on good intentions.
All my life I’ve had it in the back of my head that money can help me do good things, maybe save lives, maybe save myself in the process. But things didn’t work out that way, and it’s not for lack of money. Sometimes you realize that life is just inherently fucked. No more dreams left to dream.
money CAN lead to good things, but it depends on HOW you try and use it for good. if you just try to throw money at a “charity organization” for example, that isn’t going to work, bc most charity organizations are bullshit.
if you try 1 thing and it fails, does it mean that you CAN’T help others? no. it just means you failed at whatever you tried to do. if it’s your invention you’re talking about, even if that didn’t pan out, you can still help others- just not on a global scale. you’re probably thinking of doing massive global change, and that is pretty unrealistic to achieve. even if you finished your invention, you’d probably be killed for it to keep industry running the same so the ultra rich stay ultra rich.
you can always help out on a smaller scale that IS impactful and DOES make a difference to individual ppl. but that doesn’t seem like it’s good enough for you. if you think too grand, then ofc things won’t pan out.
“With money you can build hospitals, schools, nature preserves, clean the ocean, help others. Without money you can’t do any of that. You can’t save the world on good intentions.”
You can still do that with money. You have to know HOW to structure it so that it is used in a good way though.
“you’re probably thinking of doing massive global change … you can always help out on a smaller scale that IS impactful and DOES make a difference”
That’s actually a very good thought. Very good thought.
There you go. You can start making a difference on a much smaller scale- even on an individual level. For ex, just helping a mother get baby formula isn’t going to change the world, but it makes a world of difference to that mother and baby. But ofc, you can and should think of something “bigger” (but not TOO big that it’s improbable and unlikely to happen).
even my idiot ex-bf in college tried to make a difference.
He was brilliant in his field and very intelligent, but NOT in finance, nor in organization. Hence, calling him an “idiot.”
He and a couple of his college buddies decided to create an educational scholarship/endowment of sorts in this third world country. Basically, tried to get the poor local kids some education.
Noble goals, but poor execution. They all had NO idea WTF they were doing. So obviously the entire project folded not too long after it was started. They were engineering students, not finance students. Idiot should’ve had ME help them. I’m much better at stuff like this. (No I did not want to dip my hands nor ask bc it’s something he created with his college buddies. I didn’t want any part of it, but I do know that he is just not business/economics minded and knew it was going to end in failure as soon as he told me about it)
Point is-
1- just bc they failed miserably, doesn’t mean that any attempt results in failure. They needed to have someone who actually knew WTF they were doing
2- you CAN have bigger more achievable goals. lots of less intelligent ppl than my ex (he went to an elite uni) HAVE in fact started charities or started the exact thing he set out to do and they did- and didn’t fail like he did.
3- yes, funding education for 3rd world poor ppl isn’t in a scale large enough for you probably- but it does have an impact. yes, try doing that in the US and it is much harder- mainly bc it costs so much fucking more.
4- it’s good you have such lofty goals, but you have to
a- have a goal that is actually achievable
b- actually START
c- i am guessing you also suffer from “analysis paralysis” like I do, and that you also have a defeatist attitude- ie the world is fucked up and trying to change anything is pretty fucking hopeless.
d- changing the world isn’t going to happen, but you can make a ripple in a pond. medium goals.
Total bummer about your ex being such an idiot, and I’m referring to his idiocy of not asking you for help. Maybe he wanted to prove to you that he could do it all himself? I dunno, it just doesn’t make sense that you were a specialist and he didn’t even ask your advice.
Definitely a noble goal though. Do you think he would ever try again, maybe with your help this time? Did you part on good terms, and would you help if he asked you nice this time?
It really sucks how so many good intentions go belly up, usually because people with good intentions are often idealists who dive in without thinking things through. I’m able to think things through (mostly), or at least ask for guidance when I’m outta my league, but my problem is that I’m just too erratic and inconsistent, emotionally. I wasn’t always this bad, but after life’s beatings it doesn’t take much to knock me down. 8am ready to take on the world, 10am thinking about suicide. Even a foolproof plan needs reliable people.
But I think you’re onto something with the idea of smaller, achievable goals. Even a master plan can be chopped up into smaller pieces. And like you said with the analogy of the baby food, if I focus on how each individual piece helps someone & creates ripples, then I guess that can motivate me to keep going.
If I could only shake this self-defeating suicidal obsession…. But I suppose we’re all stuck in that loop….
well no one said being both suicidal and trying to help the world is mutually exclusive. i mean, i’m suicidal pretty much 23/7, but that but that doesn’t mean i can’t stop to help someone if i happen to see one. usually helping someone on a small individual scale feels more impactful.
like for ex, i was already going to move out and i wasn’t going to take a bunch of stuff with me, and along came this homeless guy who slept near the apts (there usually aren’t any bc the apt ppl kick them out if they see any)- he didn’t seem as creepy as most homeless ppl- maybe he was newly homeless- anyhow, i gave him a ton of stuff- blankets, food, water, drinks, can’t remember what else. He was there for like 2 nights then never saw him again. But he was very appreciative of everything I gave him. (in the past i’ve given homeless ppl change or food and they gave me the shittiest of attitudes so i quit doing this for the most part).
like i’ve done TONS of volunteer work and none of it seemed like it actually helped anyone. like 99% of them were just not designed well, even if they originally had noble goals. then there were the volunteer opportunities that CLAIMED they helped the environment/animals/the poor- but they were anything but. shady, skeezy, or outright just taking free money or free labor. THIS is why I stopped volunteering- when you find out 99% of all volunteer organizations are bullshit.
i mean, you can still plan your sui, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also plan good stuff until your demise.
who knows, maybe planning the bigger/medium level stuff might actually make you less suicidal over time. especially since the bigger the goal, the longer you have to stick around to see it through.
well by the time we got together, he had already formed the endowment and it already took off. actually, when i met him, the group was already fallen apart and about to die. it was already poorly managed and about to go bust. idk if he knew WHY it failed but it was clear as day to me why. also this was done in college. by the time we got together, we had all graduated and started our jobs, and apparently everyone was “too busy” to spend any time with that charity. so it fell apart. i mean it wasn’t designed well to begin with, but it lasted a few years bc it all collapsed from a lack of effort from everyone.
he didn’t ask for help nor did i want to give it bc i knew it was going to die. also, i didn’t want to spend any effort knowing no one in the group was willing to. it’s not my project, and i’d probably be too pissed at all the ppl and all the incompetencies.
it was his pet project, not mine. and it was already like 6mo from dying by the time i heard about it.
also- i’m pretty fucking pissed now that i look back. so he had ALL this good and noble intentions and goodwill, BUT DID HE TREAT ME RIGHT? Fuck no. I mean he wasn’t a bad bf but he wasn’t terrific either. He could’ve helped me rather than a bunch of ppl he’s never met halfway across the world.
That’s the shit that pisses me off. People who THINK they’re SO nice or giving, but do they do that IRL to ppl they know, like their friends or family, or in my case, the gf? I was pretty independent back then, but still, he could have helped or asked or done more. But nope. Focus all his attention and care on everything and everyone else. And no, we are NOT in contact anymore. It did not end well (entirely HIS fault for the shit he did)
Thanks @eternal you’ve given me the most inspiring thoughts I’ve had in months. You have a great combination of business sense and altruism, without overlooking the suckiness of life. Also, looking at your ex’s failure from a distance helps me see what I did wrong & how I >>might<< be able to make a 2nd go at it.
There are actually a bunch of similarities between his failure and mine, especially: "this was done in college. by the time we got together, we had all graduated and started our jobs, and apparently everyone was “too busy” to spend any time with that charity. so it fell apart."
Yup, I relied heavily on partners who, like me, were fresh out of college and gung ho on changing the world. They all ended up getting busy with their careers, getting married, whatever, all those things that push dreams aside. I was the last one at the rudder and couldn't steer the boat by myself.
For years I felt sorry for myself, hated my ex-friends, etc, but now I'm seeing that I should've predicted it, should've seen that as one of the weaknesses in my plan, and compensated by recruiting new people. After all, that's what real businesses do, if someone quits to get married they don't fold up, they hire new people.
You mentioned another thing that I should've noticed and dealt with: " opportunities that CLAIMED they helped the environment/animals/the poor- but they were anything but."
Yup. The business of "doing good" is infested with sleazy opportunists. I wasn't prepared. I tried to form alliances with similar groups (strength in numbers right?) but realized that 99% of them were scum. The rude awakening pushed me further into bitterness, self-defeat, and ultimately giving up.
Again, the lesson to be learned is be optimistic without being flat out naïve. Have faith but watch your back. It's a tough tightrope to walk but some people manage (I did encounter 1% of genuinely good people).
omg the phenomenon of do-gooders who are absolute abusive monsters to their loved ones. This is clearly documented, and yet it still baffles me. Gandhi himself was an asshole to his wife… This isn't hearsay, it's in his own autobiography, how he forced her through hardships because it was a "wife's duty". Not to single him out because there are so many "saints" who were abusive and cruel to their families. Hell, if you dig deep enough on any philanthropist you'll learn their dark side.
In any case it's good that you got away from the ex because if he couldn't treat you well in the beginning then it would've only gotten worse, and 10-20 years down the road you'd be REALLY screwed. Like the earlier post about how it's way better to be alone than with a psycho…
Anyway thanks for the thoughts and lowkey inspiration to get back to work. I'm not dead yet, as much as I'd like to be, so I might as well do something. The story of you giving supplies to the homeless guy is really uplifting, both with your gesture as well as his gratitude. You might have literally saved a human being's life, and I'm sure he'll remember your good will and, who knows, spread the kindness. I do think kindness rewards both giver and receiver. We can all feel it when we experience it.
yup, i’ve always been way better at helping other ppl than myself. i can see other ppl’s problems, issues, strengths and solutions at a distance. but my own? pfft. i seem unable to rescue myself.
i’m just a ball of wasted potential -_-
i mean due to not my own fault- i DO have fucking brain damage so there’s that -_-. could i have been more motivated and done slightly more? sure. but you know, depression… and defeatist attitude. also, i swear the universe is really out to fuck me over. it’s done that to me MANY times, and at this point, i’m too tired and unhealthy to get back up and fight.
glad i could give you inspiration. i know motivation/inspiration is hard for a depressed person to have. i sure lack motivation/inspiration myself.
i’m glad i could help that guy, but now i need help myself. i’ve since moved and gotten really sick, and all these stupid bills let alone all the health issues i’m struggling with. sigh.
Money can’t buy meaning.
Nope, it can’t. It can, however, pay my medical bills, rent, food, bills, and freedom. Money isn’t the end all be all, especially if one does have money. but when you are lacking…money makes quite a bit of difference. especially to a disabled person.
Money won’t make one happy, but lack of it will make one unhappy.