He turned it in with like 2 hours to spare. Fucking ridiculous. Whatever. Putting off sending him another email cause I need to remind him about the second reference letter he needs to write and I feel like that will just annoy him more than my dozen reminder emails. Got to do it today though.
So I’ve only really though about passively dying but lately things have gotten so bad that I I’m starting to look for routes. Haven’t done that since I came up with the chemical asphyxiation plan last year. I’m starting to stare at all my pill bottles. Got all types of meds that when combined I can give myself a seizure in my sleep. Apparently. Google says it’s not painful, but it sounds painful. Lose of control for breathing and heart rate. That’s what I wanted. My heart to stop while I slept. It hasn’t gotten to the point where I’ll actually do anything about it. Just talk. But I am hyper aware of my pills now like I wasn’t before.