I got sloppy. After I cut, I put the knife in the closet to dry (too much of a risk to leave my room to clean it), then put it back safe where I’ve hidden it. But I forgot it. And this time, my dear mother found it while poking around my room for the fifteen millionth time. Now my parents are demanding to see my arms, which I can’t do, and I’m fairly certain this is going to end in an involuntary hospitalization and a suicide. What wonderful situations I find myself in…
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Oh shit that sucks. But you didn’t fuck up, you couldn’t have anticipated being searched like that, or what it would lead to.
Did your parents show any sympathy or genuine concern for your mental health at all? Or were they mainly angry and trying to accuse & punish you? Maybe if you tell them that they are largely the reason why you do this (I’m guessing by how much stress they add to your life) then they’ll back off a bit. They might not have you involuntarily committed if they know you’ll tell the doctors that they’re the reason. Idk I’m just thinking of ways you can leverage their actions against you.
Worst case, maybe a grippy sock vacay is one way of getting away from them or whatever other stressors are choking you.