Pain –
Scary
Unwanted
unavoidable
When you sit around trying your hardest to feel the same happiness you felt not so long ago.
then you realize that when you only feel pain , happiness is numb. Happiness leaves within seconds.
When you are lonely,  you want to leave you room, and when you do go out, You just want to go back home . But you hate your home. Your not happy at home or when your not at home. Being with friends is good and all, but you find your self wanting to go home, or finding excuses to leave. You cry when you get home, you cry if you don’t get invited to parties , half the time you don’t want to go to these parties. When you don’t feel happy anywhere , you feel pain everywhere. Then you forget what happiness feels like. I forget.
2 comments
I understand how you feel. I’ve tried to be happy again, but it’s hard to remember exactly how that feels once you’ve been depressed for so long. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Tell me if you find a way to feel normal again.
I feel the same way. I’ve been in pain for some time because of my school, the feeling that I disappoint myself and my family because of every single thing I do, and my Grandma who raised me might die in six months. Sometimes I wish the it could go away but it never does. I forget what it is like to be truly happy without the fake smile plastered on, feeling real joy that won’t surrender back to depression. I definetely can relate to what you are feeling