i, i am very sick. i lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep every night, i stare at the blank walls that surround me and wonder if i’m ever gonna be somebody, i look at my wrists and ask myself what have i done??, i look in the mirror and tremble, i dont eat and whenever i do eat i puke it up afterwards, i want to end my life but dont have the balls to do it, im bruised and i am broken inside, i have a gaping hole in my heart that constantly screams and reminds me of its presence, i am insecure, ashamed, i am depressed, i am a rape victim, and have been molested as a child, my dad is an alcoholic, i have lost all ambition, all hope, i am nothing but a loser, i hate this world, lifes a *****, i tried to go out and kick ass, but it kicked mine, im sick of my hungry stomach, im sick of my burning throat, im sick of people and bitches who dont understand me, and judge me, im sick of hyprocrites, im sick and i am weak, i am hanging on by a thread and it can snap at any moment, i dont know why i am still here, i have nothing left, i have lost everything, i have lost hope for that light at the end of the tunnel, im sick of fighting, im sick of crying, im sick of hiding my addiction, im sick of being a slut, im sick of feeling worthless and powerless and stupid, im sick of having blood stained sheets and a clueless questioning mom who doesnt leave my ass of a “dad”, im sick of being so low, so shallow, i have officially hit rock bottom and there is no point any more, i am at zero and will always remain at zero, i am sick, really, really sick. and there is absolutely NOTHING i can do about it. nothing at all. nothing.
3 comments
try talking to someone you trust, like a counsellor or close friend, if you ever want to speak to me add me on x-laura_baybeee-x@hotmail.co.uk x x hope things get better
You know i feel about the same way, just in a different perspective. People always think to highly or to low of me, i have been put down, i have been beaten and i feel ….. alone for no apparent reason just alone as i sit on my computer wondering whether or not to push myself and wondering if it will make a difference.
I have some of the same feelings as you do although i’m not really sure how i deal with them. There might not be anything you can do about it or anyone can do about the way you feel, but if you take the help or seek help even if it is ever so slight it might help.
I enjoy going to school just for the one or two hugs i might get, its not that i’m ugly i’m just very reserved. I watch as girls get hit on and kiss guys who i guarantee you go home and sit on the couch. makes me sick knowing i try so hard for so little.
I type this out even though my whole body hurts from working out all day long…..just hoping that i could be of some use to someone.
even though i probably wasn’t, i tried to show a bit of understanding some similarity between someone i haven’t even met.
I hope i helped even just a little…..
If i did something right my email is whoareyou2416@yahoo.com if you want…..
I wish you the best of luck and the utmost happiness.
-Wyatt
don’t give up… (i’m telling myself this too!)… if you want to talk i’d really like to listen… lifemoreordinary@hotmail.com