I am 18 years old and in my second semester of college. I live in the dorms. Although I no longer live with my parents I can not let go of their beliefs. Of awful childhood experiences and memories. My heart is sick from carrying my Mother’s beliefs. The ones that weigh me down most are her beliefs about men. My mother has raised  me to judge all men as bad people, criminals, fuck ups. I can’t start relationships with guys because I mistrust ALL of them. I am trying incredibly hard to move past this indoctrination but also not lose all my sense and become too trusting…….Need a happy medium. I don’t really have any straight guy friends who I hang out with. Maybe that is a place to start? Does anyone have suggestions for me on how to give my trust little by little, and willingly to men so that I can experience great friendships and romantic relationships. Ughhh, will i ever fall in love?
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3 comments
How did she raise you to mistrust men so much?
Honestly, I think your mother is right. She knows that you need to get your education first..love can come to you whenever you let your guard down..there are many men that only think with there you know what’s, so focus on your life as it is. My brother found his wife in college..he was a freshman..she was a senior..maybe it will take that long for you too but you don’t need to be in a hurry. I sure wasn’t, but my life ended up not how I wanted. I’m happy some lives do. Wish you the best.
The issue is you don’t trust yourself…basically you’re mom instilled fear in you. Fear makes you freeze and disconnect from what’s normal in life….guys are a part of your life.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. Do you think you were born to please your mother’s ideas of what’s okay and what isn’t. When you learn and practice to unconditionally love and appreciate yourself, you allow yourself to have experiences. Every experience has lessons in it, whether it’s a positive or negative one…they’re all good. So you were raised with untruths. Instead of being upset at the beliefs she projected on to you, make a decision to come up with your own belief system that fits you…just do it! There’s no betrayal if you choose to follow your birthright…which is to live for yourself. Tell your mom too if you want. That’s hijacking your freedom when forced to believe a certain set of rules that do not fit or allow happiness into your God given life. Step up!