Guys and girls, i know this is not the right place to ask for this but trust me i have tried everything else and i have nothing.
guys when i say that i have lost everything, please do take my word for it that i have lost everything. and frankly and honestly i just need to end my life. anyhow.
frankly speaking guys i am just a loser, nothing else, just a loser. and yes, i have tried suicide attempts but i am so shit out of luck that i have survived in every attempt. dont know how, dont know why, but i survived. Tried drinking organophosphate poison, was in ICU, survived, tried jumping off the bridge, got saved, tried eating tablets but still survived. and i dont have guts to hang myself to death. i got a rope with hangmans noose hanging in one of the room of my house right now, but too scared to jump, sometimes i would just wrap that know around my neck and stand on table for hours just gathering willpower/guts to jump but i fail. i have taken high dose of bloodpressure pills, tried everything. even tried taking bloodpressure pills and standing on stool with the knot around my head just hoping to fall unconsious, fall from table and die, but no. i just wont die. i dont know why god hates me so much, that after taking everything from me, he still wants me to live and suffer. i dont know why he hates me or what i did to him that he wants to give me this punishment. fine if he wants to give me punishment, please give me on hell or on heaven, but not on earth. just take me off earth.
currently i am planing to try that nicotine method which they say is effective, but i doubt i will die, coz looking at the unlucky things i have gone though, i dont think i will die.
live? it is completely out of question for me. i dont have anyone to live for. live alone for yourself? cant do it. plus, organophosphate and blood pressure pills totally fucked up the body so death is only solution for me. i tried, i tried to have positive thoughts, i tried to have dreams but its like i am cursed for life.
guys please help me to gain freedom and rest in peace. please
61 comments
feel free to email me , im always here to listen and help!
rains_kelsey@yahoo.com
please tell me a sure painless way to suicide.
currently, i have this severe pain besides stomach, where there are kidneys, i think kidneys are damaged due to the tablets, coz it was HEAVY dose. and i took all kinds of pills, like ACHE, a-blockes, b-blockers, diureatic, etc. and i know it is gonna get worst. trust me, there is no turning back for me, i have to pass. and frankly after about 5 failed attempts, i need help.
what kind of loose fails for five times?
and guys, this is the last place i have come for help, please i dont want to be disappointed
i have tried 3 times and i failed eachh time, but i realized why, and you need to too, idk if you believe in god your not but there is a reason why you keep failing at it, thats just proof that its not your time , you have a reason for being here , you will neever learn the great things in life if you just take the easy way out and give up, if i would have not failed when i tried , i would not have found my true love , i would not have gotten engaged or pregnant or anything of the things i have now , yes , im still depressed i probly always will be , yes sometimes i cut still but when my suicidal thoughts come back i think about all the stuff i wouldnt have now if i didnt fail the first time,
Yeah, you gotta have to find you a reason of living… why don’t you just plant some tree? did you know that we can save our word with tree? In fact tree are purifying the air, cleaning the wather, give a home to some species, even give some fruit ? think of it
@ Deathneeded
They said Moscow Flyer was too old to win the Champion Chase. Did he listen? NO! He came back at the age of 11 to become champion again.
What about the legend Kauto Star. Long Run defeated him twice last year. Did he give up? NO! He came back to win a record 5th King George at the ADR of 12 and has already beaten long run twice this season.
And what about Scurlogue Champ. When his rivals were 30 lengths clear did he say to himself forget it, it’s insurmountable? NO! He gave them a head start and a beating.
What the videos on YouTube.
Pull yourself together man. We have a battle to win here. Don’t let us down. We will get through this not by struggling but with consummate ease. You are a winner. Come on join us, we need someone like you.
okay guys, i admit i have not been completely honest here. i havent told you what took place in my life and why i really want to die.
first, i am a dreamer, i dream and then do things.
around a year ago, the only person i really cared in whole world was dad, no one else. had many dreams for him, wanted to do a lot of things for him. and on one fine day, out of nowhere, he passed away due to brain aneurysm. my life was like hell, fake like, laughing without meaning it, not enjoying in grief, then one girl came, she turned my life around. i started enjoying life, living really as i wanted. i started dreaming again, we decided to marry each other, we were very happy. and yes, i had many dreams which i wanted to complete with her. and we were very happy. and one day, she called at around 10pm saying “i dont want to marry you, we dont have future” a incident took place and she got totally shocked, i tried to convince her, but failed. i got shattered. i was out of house the whole night. dint knew what to do. but things were together. and after few days, she left me. i dint knew what to do. all dreams broken, all hopes shattered. and damn that girl, was my luck. since the day she left, life took a false turn. it was like she was somehow holding all things together.
i tried to convince, but i failed. i drank poison that time, reached ICU. but things totally changed. i havent seen or spoken with her since then.
after few months, i finally decided that lets give life one more shot. lets live. made new goals, new dreams, this time for mom. (person, who played the minimum-est role in my life. gave birth, troubled dad. looked after me in middle middle). made a plan, financial goals, etc etc. then one day morning 10 am. got a call, Mom expired, sudden cardiac arrest.
took a deep breath, went to my sister. (she was with sister after dad passed away). funeral and all took place. after that while returning from sisters house, we all were in car, and on highway accident took place. guess what, i was driving, so everyone blamed me. car got totalled, everyone blamed me. both the sisters told me to pay for car damage etc etc, fine, i will pay, coz i dint want to live so what will i do with the money. accident was horrible, frankly, i dont know how i survived.
everyone blamed me.
about luck, this is my luck. about life, this is my life. about new things which are gonna happen? lets see fucked up body, with fucked up faith. not good future.
believe in god? frankly, yes, i do believe in god. and i believe that he is angry or he hates me for some reason, and probably my fault. as always is.
dad had my tension, wasnt good enough to maintain relation with girlfriend. never cared for mom. driving fast on highway. yes, always my fault.
why i dont want to live? well future isnt pleasant, and i know it. got nothing.
age? just turned 21, week ago.
had enough. enjoyed life. did everything a person can do in life.
computer background. learned all languages. designed software to manage school and college administrations, designed couple of websites. created customised Windows XP, Vista and 7. learned everything there is about computers and cars. did everything i loved. even repaired dad’s old car. planing trees? maintained garden for a year now, and there are about 50 trees in there. fruits fall and decompose.
have dont everything computer programmer dreams of. and about car. driving as well as repairing. now enough of life.
did many bad things in life. destroyed many lifes. dad died due to me. destroyed the girls life because she decided to leave me. and trust me, if i leave i will destroy more lives.
tomorrow i am going to market to but some tobacco leaves. found a article on internet.
gonna try those with few nicotine patches. i dont smoke, so i hope nicotine will kill me rapidly.
did some research, found that people can survive upto 3 weeks after organophosphate poisoning. and its very painfull, so cancelling that plan.
i hope i die this time. i really do.
@ Deathneeded
I’m sozzled so I can’t even form coherent words let alone read the tiny writing on my iPhone but I will give some pearls of wisdom later if you can wait that long.
I hope you youtubed the names I gave to get inspiration.
I smoke more than anyone any you won’t die through nicotine
Maybe im sozzled and didn’t get what you did to drive your girlfriend away. Also your dad passing away is a sad experience but most people go through it at some stage.
well, i dint do anything to drive her away. suddenly she decided to leave me. it was nothing triggered by me. call it faith or bad luck. god hates me.
i tried to buy cynaide of black market, but the dealer commited suicide before i could get any.
i got no option but to die. i need to die. you cant understand my situation.
i have broken complete contact with every living person on earth, except you guys here. my phone is always on silent, i dont pick up if it rings which is rarely.
i have locked myself inside the house for last one month, no one knows where i am. whether i am alive or dead. and as far as i know, no one is concerned much.
i need to die. i cant think also of leaving or giving life a second chance.
and frankly, i dont have anything left. all the money i had, i gave to sister for her car. all the money i inheritted from dad i gave to sister. money i inheritted from mom, i gave it to other sister. so i am set to die. i have been planing to die since november. and now i seriously need to die. life is not a option.
if not nicotine then sometihng else. can u please tell me some thing?
no one is going to sit here and give you a reason and a way to kill yourself, i dont know you no but i believe you are better than all of this, all the stuff you hav gone thru is just god making you a stronger person, trust me on this.
Well if she just left you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. That’s her problem not yours.
I got to this site because I tried to but potassium cyanide.
We will put you right. Just stay on here and dnot do anything silly.
If I gave my sister every penny I would die a happy man. It shows you are a good person and you did the right thing. The bond with your sister is worth more that money.
Be strong. Be strong for your family. There is no doubt you can put up a big contribution….. We are waiting 🙂
I used to think the same way. I used to be homosexual gay weirdo opposite thinking guy. I had suffered the same fears because I couldn’t ruin my parents life. I had also thought of going through suicide. I also used to sit hours and hours crying in despair. I was really fed up of myself. But you know what!, every one has some good seeds which one needs to nurture and grow. Please live, I can get what is happening to you. These problems make life look scary, but be strong enough and have some good dreams. Dreams of sharing love to someone, like some children not having parents. You know it doesn’t feel good when people don’t care, so care for some ! If your intentions are right, eventually things will start getting right. There is a part in brain which triggers our emotional system when we get addicted of crying. I tell you i used to be addicted to crying and I guess you too are. Go out, get some air. breath in dear. You have to make efforts to get out of this traumatic situation, and I am very sure you will, fight till your last breath to make life livable for you and for others and rest leave it to love(god):)
You’re a hell of lot more successful than me and I’ve been 21 since the summer. I haven’t done jackshit w/ my life and I don’t see myself ever doing much more(!)
I was really depressed so I bought the materials for a gas poisonous like cyanide… i know.. maybe it’ll be for future use. I’m not an evil man, and I don’t think you should end your life, you’re competent and you can have a future! but choice is choice, I read about those “japanese suicides called the detergent suicides, it opened my eyes. 2 weeks ago all I could think about was taking a gun, but I’m over that now. Kinda just waiting to see what the future has in store for us all. Something interesting is bound to happen sooner or later, Negative or Positive.
i just found out 50mg nicotine is lethal for me with my body weight.
found a method to extract it from tobaco leaves.
guys,i really had enough with life.maybe god wanted to make me stronger,but i m broken now.not strong enough to smile and welcome one more day in life.
she left, dont know why. maybe i dint deserve her or she deserved better then me.afterall i am a loser and a quitter.
about contribution, trust me, world is way better of without me.
50 mg that’s 5 packs and believe me, it won’t kill you. Just give you a sore chest.
You didn’t search on YouTube did you. Do it, you will get inspiration.
You’re being irrational. I was super depressed and was thinking about suicide just for … no reason because the rest of my life is fine. You can over come your hardships things will get better especially if you seek a little help. But whatever you decide, good luck. I often think about what’s on the other side, I’m not a big fan of this place. Nihilistic Me.
don’t just mess up your life further by just hurting yourself. Use your intelligence, if something tells you that you should live, stop and think about it, make goals and objectives you can reach. If you hate life and you’re pro death, all the power to you. We all grow up and everyone thinks we belong here and subconsciously living like we’ll live forever.. What if for some of us life isn’t the greatest thing ever. I don’t see what the earth holds here for me and I’m being super ______ right now, telling you to live but explaining why I want to die. Guess I’m just voicing my opinion. I hate all these lovers of life who don’t even look at my side of the story. We’re all meant to die, can’t we embrace it with a little less skepticism?
Your partly right taul, but mostly i must disagree.
We have birth and death and in the middle of it all is that big chuck of time we call life. If life is not for living then what is it for?
We achieve things not by doing the easy things but by doing the hard things.
Ultimately, we are the product of our thoughts. If they are positive so we become. If they are negative, so we become.
The question is one of choice & yes effort against adversity. if everyone crumbles under adversity, then ultimately, no one grows. The remain stagnant.
You’re smart but it’s hard to follow! You’re too positive :3 but my question is why do we live upon success? We are animals. and look at the rest of the species they lie around all day eating and sleeping. Some days I wish I was just a dog or cat 😐 Why do we think we Have to accomplish stuff? There’s too many people for individual success?
please live, don’t die like this dear, you have to do a lot of stuff in life. World is worse without you. I used to think same. But that’s not so. Trust me, even the most heinous person after getting hold of life, can do good. Use this courage that you have, to help others. Please such courageous people can really help people very well! I guess I have given you a reason to live!!!
@ Taul, life isnt about success for most people, rather it’s about making a contribution, working and contributing to something ‘hopefully’ positive. In a good economy there are many options, in a bad economy they are few.
Evolution is underpinned by a solitary concept ~ to evolve, which means to grow, and this extends to our intellectual & physical abilities/capacities.
if you don’t believe in God and being chosen above all other creatures that is fine, as many do not, but then at least understand evolution.
One day, the human race will evolve its intellectual and emotional capacity beyind mere animals who only think of themselves and their stomachs (sadly many still exist like this), so i must beg to differ on why its important to strive fro something.
7 billion smart and caring people vs 7 billion slothful, unsmart and lazy people. Which do you want & want to be?
guys,
i got many problems due to opp.
like memory loss, less cognitive power, problems with speach n language. then since bloodpressure med od, i have headache, plus stomach pain, and many other things.
my blood pressure is so low that every time i stand up i feel dizzy.
guys the journey is started. just need to end now.
ps: a cigarette contains 15 mg nicotine but around 14 is burned away. and only few concerntration is observed by lungs. plus if ur smoker then your body is kinda immune to low concerntration.u need around 2mg per kg depending on ur smoking.
Guys my decision is final and it wont change.i wanted to die with no pain so i came here but as always a wrong decision
What are you looking for? It looks like you’re finding your way to a method 😐
DeathNeeded666 – I know a bit about where you are coming from. I lost my dad when I was 30, and lost my mom – who was my best friend in life – 15 years ago. Every day it pains me – not having her here. My grandparents are dead, my aunt that I was extremely close to is dead. My girlfriend of ten years told me last week that she can’t live with me, I’m too depressing, I don’t have my shit together, she doesn’t like who she is when she is with me, and she told me the love she ever had for me eroded away. I’ve begged and pleaded for her to give me another chance, but she’s done. She’s all I had left in this world. I moved half-way across the country to be with her 3 yrs ago, and spent every last dime of my retirement I had to be with her. NOW, I’m supposed to figure out how the heck to move out. I’m on morphine because I am in such physical pain I can’t stand it…
BUT…. YOU MAY FEEL LIKE YOUR BODY IS SHOT…. with all the drugs you have ingested recently, but you are young, your body is young, and the body CAN do amazing things – it WILL try and repair itself! Please – if this is the reason for ending it all – WAIT, wait… a day, two days, a week… I know you have probably heard this, but you do have a life ahead of you. Yes, God… or whoever or whatever may be here – has dealt you a VERY crappy hand. You feel all alone right now. But think about it this way… WHAT IF, there really is a ‘creator’, and you trash this life that was dealt you right now… that’s gotta be bad karma no matter how you look at it… do you want to take the chance of being given an even crappier life the next go round – if there is such a thing in reincarnation – THERE’s always that chance that it exists… just stick around a little longer… please…
Is this making any sense at all?…
… is there even a small part of you that could consider the possibility that reincarnation, or karma, or whatever, might exist? Do you want to risk pissing off the powers-that-be by ending it all at 21 years old? You have a sister… does she have kids? Are you an uncle? Do you want to have kids of your own? If your dad knew what you were thinking of ending your life, what would he be telling you right now?
Does this help at all?
I want to die and I’m 21. I think something more comes with death. I don’t see any super awesome reasons for living
Deathneeded666 I feel that you dying isn’t right, I don’t know why but i’ve read plenty of posts today and i’ve felt sympathetic. But with you, I get a knotting feeling in my tummy that it just isn’t right. Its not.
You’re meant for something more, please believe that.
Everyone is meant for something, whether its fulfilling someone’s void in their life; or building life changing technology.
You’re meant for something, something great.
Please believe it.
Everyone is meant for something, and although i’ve contemplated suicide for years; I know it isn’t right for everyone.
DeathNeeded666, I realy know how life can be difficult, but we all have our story to tell… you seem by life have learn a lot of thing about it, you have a lot to share, and not only bad think… you don’t know, but you can help a lot of people… think about way to embelish your life, not about destroying it… it always can get worst, don’t forget that, but also, it’s always can be better… don’t forget that, look at what you have, found that little sparkle wich is inside of you…
guys,u got to be kidding me.
something better in life?
1) lost everything that really meant something to me.
2) all the dreams ever had are broken.
3) betrayed by every person i ever trusted. and it is also happening as we speak now.
4) no one cares at all. if i live or die, it doesnt matter to anyone. sister,friends, nobody.
5) got absolutely no future. dropped out of college and dont have anything.
6) so out of luck, then everything i decide happens opposite of what i decide.
7) completely fucked up body which wil just get worst.
I cant think other way around.i just want it to be painles
@catbombs
… is there even a small part of you that could consider the possibility that reincarnation, or karma, or whatever, might exist? – yes, and it hates me
Do you want to risk pissing off the powers-that-be by ending it all at 21 years old? it already is.
You have a sister… does she have kids? -yes and they dont care
Are you an uncle? – yes and no one cares
Do you want to have kids of your own? – no and dont want to be
If your dad knew what you were thinking of ending your life, what would he be telling you right now? – loser cannot become a nice dad. better end life now before having a family or anyone dependent on me
I think dying this way won’t help you, not now, not in any life, if you are thinking, you are just counting on your inabilities. Karma or anything of sort is created by you alone.
I am posting same comment which I posted somewhere, It may help you, I hope this will answer you
My cousin brother used to take advantage of my innocence, in 6th grade, but I have changed my life. I have grown, why can’t you? Stay away from such people who love to remain in pain. The more you stay away, the better, because they are are so sensually tempted that they cannot understand any damn thing. They just know their business of making life miserable. You will not be able to explain them. When you occasionally meet such person, always look like an observer, feel how he feels, behave right and with caution, and get away soon from them. Never stay too long with such people, they will ruin your life. More you stay away better. Tell them with bold voice once and for all and get out of their life. Better for all, in course of time, such person may realize his mistake if you get out of his life in his/her face otherwise you will ruin his and your life.
I was abused by my brother and I used to held him responsible for me being gay but at same time I started getting infatuations of males. But now when I am fine, I feel for those who are still in infatuations. I know its dark side. I know what depression, loneliness, suicidal tendencies feel like. I have overcome them and wish to live a very happy life without men,women,wine or sex. I was last time asked by my cousin brother who was attempting to abuse me. Just one time, show me ___, I love you, I laughed at him and told him, you don’t know what love means. Keep your love with you. Today me, tomorrow someone else, I know what you love. I will live my life to grow orphan or abused children with a big heart without expecting anything in return. I will make hearts filled with loneliness filled with care. That is what is love. Even if the whole world breaks my trust, I will keep that pure feeling, so pure that even death doesn’t seem scary. I won’t die because I have to live, not just for others but also for myself. I will understand true love. Never loose hope and smile. I promise you , you will lead a better life if you make sincere efforts. Flush out idea’s of parting,wine,sex,masturbating as idea of love and you will see power and strength. Even if you fall early, rise up fast. Whole world may seem to kill you, but you never gonna loose hope. I love, but I love people without strings attached, I love people, but I don’t care who they are, just be genuine to yourself, follow intuitively what you think will make you lead a better life. Don’t love skin, love people. Love heart in people and in yourself. Even if other person breaks trust, his heart will always speak love. We have buried such pure heart, we must resurrect it. Dear, if this changes life for good, be it. You will find difficulty to change, as our brain tends to act like elastic which trying to pull us back to past, but if you are resolved slowly present will shadow past. Trust me on this 🙂
There is no painless, 100% guaranteed effective method of dying. What works for one, won’t necessarily work for another. I have no hope to offer you, simply the wish that you find some semblance of peace somehow. I’m sorry.
@Im Fine, its okay. thank you atleast you understand why i dont have any other option left. i really appreciate it.
Everyone else, i know you all are trying to help me somehow. but friends, face it. that is not the option left near me. i can stay alive. you guys are really nice. care for a stranger on internet so much that you are wasting your valuable time convincing him how important life is where as his own relatives dont give a shit about him. that is really nice. i really appreciate it.
thank you. anyways, my times up. the process i am looking to do takes upto 2 days. so i need to get going to purchase stuff from market.
and trust me guys, i will be really peacefull when i die. seriously. all my dreams will come true then, coz now i have only one dream left. “end life”. one more thing. i do request the moderator of this forum to delete this topic. tomorrow will be good. coz i dont want anyone else to follow the method i am using, coz frankly, this method is so easy and so lethal. it can even lead to untracable murder. so mods, please do delete this topic. thank you guys.
guys, you know. all this time in college, etc etc. i had a room of my own, outside college and used to live all by myself. till 21, i never drank alcohol. i never smoked a cigarette. Drugs, weed, never even touched it.
always tried to be perfect! clean guy.
what did i get in return? pain and all.
now screw it. i know this are my last couple of days. i brought a bottle of Vodka, and 2 packets of cigarette. gonna smoke and drink whole damn night.
If you drink and smoke it doesn’t make you a bad person. Ive been doing it since I was at school.
I did everything right too. Kind, generous, never hurt anyone. But if you think about it think of bad people like bacteria. We would not have developed our immune system if it was not for disease. Medical science has also benefited. I know it is unpleasant but all these jerks teach us a valuable lesson which makes us stronger.
I did everything right too. Law school, career, etc. That’s the way it goes sometimes.
you know duke, maybe i a m not a good person.
maybe i am the real bad guy.
now look at me. my father expired due to hypertension. which was becoz of me. i wanted to start a business and my daddy was scared that i may be scammed into it. i had already lost my sister. she was scammed for 700,000 and she commited suicide coz she was not able to face my father. my dad never said a word to her, she was scared (guilty) becoz she lost his life’s earning.
my dad was a nice guy, he never said anything to anyone. and i bet if he was alive, this never would have happened. but frankly, he was getting old. and maybe god dint want him to suffer in old age, he suffer all his life.
you know, my father, at his childhood he was so poor, that he dint have money even to go to college. he used to deliver news paper and work at some stall for living. he strugged a lot. a lot means a lot. He was the first person in our family to build a house of his own. and first to buy a car. he struggeled all his life. and now look at me. i am just wasting his money just by staying alive. every single passing day, i am just wasting his lifes earning.
@ Deathneeded
These terrible things have happened but the world needs you, we need you.
My grandad died. He was from India and could speak or read English. My nans bastrd brother helped him by a house which would have been worth around £250,000 today. He put the mortgage in my grandees name and the house I’m his name. He sold the house and fcked off down to London. My grandad was left for years paying a mortgage and died young. He was a very good man. He got conned.
What goes around comes around. His son is now had an accident and his daughter died of suspicious circumstances. Even though he is a millionaire what he has lost is priceless. Stay strong. Death is a part of life.
This jerk I worked with tried to destroy my career. I am still in my job and everyone now knows he’s a cnut.
If you ever need to talk message me. Molly Woppit, Adastra and Amakua are also good to talk too.
My nan on my mums side has also been through great tragedy. Both her sons died in childhood. In Asian families there was a lot of pressure to have sons. One of her daughters was deaf. Her brother was shot dead in the Golden temple in 1984. Her sister was murdered burnt alive. She has had a number of healt problems. My grandad had a stroke and was bed ridden for years. There’s is even more.
Yet she is my last surviving grandparent.
honestly speaking.
i also need to die coz its also a kind of revenge to people who betrayed me.
like my other sis n bro.
u wont understand.
Sadly for you, I’m not sure that your nicotine method, is a good way to go…
Just read it on wikipedia… they report almost 7 cases where this method has obviously fail plus all the symptome that this method occur please, be aware of it, i don’t wish you to worsen your case.
http://ash2.wikkii.com/wiki/Nicotine_poison
crimson- trickle @hotmail .com (no spaces) I have a method thats ment to be foolproof but not going to post it for everyone, email me if u want it
case 1: god knows what he did
Case 2 :- nicotine evaporates when you boil it in water. so all he was left was with other things in tobacco.
case 3 :- if he used the same boiling method then ofcouse he had no nicotine in it.
case 4 & 5 are same
case 6 :- interesting. frankly he has no idea what he is talking about. nicotine patches comes in mg not grams. now lets see, he says he applied 14 patches. now patches are do not release so high amount of nicotine. 14 pacthes x 21mg / 24 = 12mg. now out of 12mg, concerntration starts to loose after few hours. so instead of 290mg, he took say about 200 mg over the period of 24 hours. which leads to 8 mg. now a chain smoker smokes a packet in 1 hour, so he consumes 15mg of nicotine per hour. so he actually absorbed low nicotine then he thing he did. which was synthesised by his body. so ofcourse it wont work. best solution would be to soak patches into water and drink it.
case 7 :- burned the nicotine away and ate god knows what.
you need to be way smarter then that. btw google around, you will find many successfull attempts (most untraceble ones).
Okay, I had just wanted to be sure that you have think enough to your method, I dont want that you worcen your case… you seem to suffer enough like that, I just wish you to find peace my friend.
thank you friend. i have ordered ether, i will be getting it tomorrow. by midnight i hope my extraction will complete, and on 10th i am planning to leave the earth.
you know, its quite easy. (wont mention how to extract it) but to die, just spill couple of drops on skin. 60 mg is lethal for human beign. i am planning to spill upto 2gms. quick, easy.
i know its not painless, coma will induced after 15 mins, till then i will be having stong convulsions. so planing to take couple of anti-histamine and drink upto 1/5 litre of vodka. diluted ofcourse. and then skill it after few mins.
alcohol relaxes muscles, so the convulsions wont be too strong. and its also pain killer.
so thats my plan of way out.
you know bro, if god would come to me and say “i will go back in time and change one thing for you. any single thing.” then i would reply.
“please go back in time, and make sure that i am never born”.
world is worst then hell. please just play with emotions. dont care. promises which dont meant anything. betrayal, back stabbing..
i know i wont go to heaven, but i really hope hell is beter then this.
u know, i havent seen my family for last 1 month, and no one cares.
screw it.
@keke13, i wrote you a email, did you get it?
We are on 10 now… I wish you don’t have leave this world yet… can you email me? I would like to talk to you before… can you email me at: There_is_always_hope@live.ca ?
i am seriously out of luck.
i ordered couple of chemicals but bank transfer dint get verified, it took 24 hours delay to verify, then yesterday it got verified and dealer shifted the chemicals, but courier hasnt reached yet.
they say i may get it in 4 hours.
after that will take almost 2 hours for preparation,
so i am planing to do it at midnight on 11, it will take 15-30 mins to do its magic, horrible 30 mins though.
every night i have this night mares, you know, every day i pray to god before going to sleep that “please kill me today in sleep”
Yeah, I know what this feeling is… but each morning I try to say to me that there is a reason why i’m still here in this life… and someday, i don’t think that i will ever had dream like I have before but someday I try to found great thing about life… Try to make something that you love, try to make something that remind you good moment about life… try to help another person, try to make the difference… I know that we don’t live into a perfect world… but I don’t know at the bottom of me, there is always hope… don’t you think ?
bro, i emailed u.
actually bro i was same like u. my first suicide attempt was on 24 april, but i dint loose then. i always kept hope, but i got nothing back from it.
just pain, pure pain.
and in all this months u know what i have realised?
god hates me. and luck is something i repel all d time.
i m useless, unable to make proper decission, n i m a typical loser.
frankly speaking, i m not build for life.
i realise it now.
that life/family/love is not made for me.
neither is words like trust/faith/destiny.
and emotions like happiness r specially not for me.
yeah.. you know, I did not receive your mail…
please check spam folder
got a good news, and one bad news, which in return is a good news.
1) good news is i got my courier, i got everything i ordered. within 4 hours, i will be ready with the thing i need.
2) second good news is, maybe my sister or brother in law is coming here. my home. and they have a alternative key. so i can lock myself in. and my body will be descovered within a week, atleast wont decompose badly.
3) bad news is, they migtht come tomorrow everning, which gives me window of 20 hours only to be perfectly dead. (or atleast in condition where doctors cant do anything.) and if i miss, damn, i will wake up in ICU with just more money loss. so i have to be perfect.
4) good news is, if nicotine in blood is too high, my body wont decompose quickly. plus high level of alcohol, both will preserve me well.
hope everything goes well
I wish you to find peace my friend
guys, please reply this post http://suicideproject.org/2012/02/guys-i-need-your-advice-i-dont-know-what-to-do/
i really need your advice
I came across this post a few months ago. I just cried. I didnt know what to do or how to act. It was my first time on sp and- i couldnt believe what i was reading. I was reading struggle, pain, hopelessness, and death. I saw it was from 2012- and i read through all of the responses. I dont know how long its been, but ive kept you in my mind. I would love to talk. dont be afraid.