I need help, I really need to get out of this world. Please Help

  February 3rd, 2012 by DeathNeeded666

Guys and girls, i know this is not the right place to ask for this but trust me i have tried everything else and i have nothing.

guys when i say that i have lost everything, please do take my word for it that i have lost everything. and frankly and honestly i just need to end my life. anyhow.

 

frankly speaking guys i am just a loser, nothing else, just a loser. and yes, i have tried suicide attempts but i am so shit out of luck that i have survived in every attempt. dont know how, dont know why, but i survived. Tried drinking organophosphate poison, was in ICU, survived, tried jumping off the bridge, got saved, tried eating tablets but still survived. and i dont have guts to hang myself to death. i got a rope with hangmans noose hanging in one of the room of my house right now, but too scared to jump, sometimes i would just wrap that know around my neck and stand on table for hours just gathering willpower/guts to jump but i fail. i have taken high dose of bloodpressure pills, tried everything. even tried taking bloodpressure pills and standing on stool with the knot around my head just hoping to fall unconsious, fall from table and die, but no. i just wont die. i dont know why god hates me so much, that after taking everything from me, he still wants me to live and suffer. i dont know why he hates me or what i did to him that he wants to give me this punishment. fine if he wants to give me punishment, please give me on hell or on heaven, but not on earth. just take me off earth.

currently i am planing to try that nicotine method which they say is effective, but i doubt i will die, coz looking at the unlucky things i have gone though, i dont think i will die.

live? it is completely out of question for me. i dont have anyone to live for. live alone for yourself? cant do it. plus, organophosphate and blood pressure pills totally fucked up the body so death is only solution for me. i tried, i tried to have positive thoughts, i tried to have dreams but its like i am cursed for life.

 

guys please help me to gain freedom and rest in peace. please

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