To prove that I was doinq bad I showed my social worker my scars.Later on close to the end of the day my dean pulled me outta class.I walked Into a room were my mom,my social worker were In.My soical worker told me to show my mom the pictureI said no.She started talkinq to me about scars.She told me that she would like for me to qo bac to the hospital.(HELL NO!)I was okay yeah Ill do It.What I’m really qonna do Is my mom Is qonna drop me off at the hospital and when she leaves Ima start my new life as a homeless person.Yesterday I took a hand-full of pills.I wouldn’t say that was an attemp.I still feel them In meI feel like shit!Never aqain will I do that!Nowere to qo,no friends houseno family memebers,no nobody’s house to stay at.I’m qonna ry and qet money so I can qe a ticket to the north and hopefully meet up with runaways.I’ve never slept outside with someone so that’s qonna be a expierence.I’m fucked.Whatever I had of this so called life Is now down the drian.Suicide Is the oonly opton now.
3 comments
please don’t. if your mom wants you to go back into the hospital it means that she cares about you, and wants you to get better.
Actually, no you are not stuffed. If anything you might get some okay help. if you can’t handle stresses in life, don’t add more to your life by being homeless or self harming. These ADD to life problems.
Seriously, what did you expect when you show a caring person your scars? That they would not ‘try’ to help by calling at least your parents. Sure they didn’t know your situation or why you are doing this, but it would be pretty natural to call someones parents.
When you are negative or stressed, you see less options in life. When you are positive, you see endless options in life. So when you are down, you are nearly always making poor decisions – some people are self harming, running away, drinking, getting high etc.
And yet strangely every one of those decisions CREATES more problems, not less.
I dont know your issues, but if you need to talk about them, please feel free here.
I had written this message for someone thinking of dying like you.
I used to think the same way. I used to be homosexual gay weirdo opposite thinking guy. I had suffered the same fears because I couldn’t ruin my parents life. I had also thought of going through suicide. I also used to sit hours and hours crying in despair. I was really fed up of myself. But you know what!, every one has some good seeds which one needs to nurture and grow. Please live, I can get what is happening to you. These problems make life look scary, but be strong enough and have some good dreams. Dreams of sharing love to someone, like some children not having parents. You know it doesn’t feel good when people don’t care, so care for some ! If your intentions are right, eventually things will start getting right. There is a part in brain which triggers our emotional system when we get addicted of crying. I tell you i used to be addicted to crying and I guess you too are. Go out, get some air. breath in dear. You have to make efforts to get out of this traumatic situation, and I am very sure you will, fight till your last breath to make life livable for you and for others and rest leave it to love(god):) I know life can be looked upon as very dreadful but why thinking that way? I don’t know what death is but dear, you cannot die like this! have a life first! Trust me, you can live a much better life if you try.-extendingmyheart@gmail.com 🙂