I’m so tired

This is weird for me because I’ve never done anything like this, but this seems like the only thing I have to run to. I want to kill myself, plain and simple. I’m tired of living. I feel worthless and like a waste of space. I hate everything about me. I’m a selfish person and I only care about myself. I hurt everyone around me with my unhappiness. I’m seeing a therapist for anxiety but it doesn’t seem like its working because the pain always come back. I’m so sick of feeling dead inside. Everyday I think of suicide but I don’t have the guts. I’m crying for help but no one really listens. I just want someone to tell me it’s gonna be ok. I’m tired of acting like I’m happy when I really want to die. I’m tired of being an outsider. I’m ugly and awkward, people only talk to me because they pity me. I hate waking up everyday. People tell me it’s gonna get better but it doesn’t feel like that. I know I’m a teenager but that doesn’t mean you have to push my problems to the side. I’m so alone. I just want someone to tell me they know how I feel, because know one seems to understand.