After reading some of these stories i should be happy for the life i have considering others. Just seems hard to though. I have 3 older siblings that are 10-13 years older than me, all three are married beautiful children and spouses. My two sisters are hot shot doctors who graduated top of there class from very well known schools. My brother owns several businesses in the town he lives in, also graduated top of his class. My family is like the hallmark greeting card. My parents expect so much from me, to be like my older siblings, be smart, be wealthy, be a religious freak, marry a young prince charming and all that. I can’t though, I am smart for my age, but i can’t live up to there high standards. If I make straight A’s they want to know why there not all A+’s, if I make anything below an A i get yelled at and grounded. My father has temper issue’s and I think he is back drinking again though he won’t admit it. My mother blames me for causing her beauty to fade at her age, for when she had me she had issues that caused her to gain weight. My sister’s tease me for not having their abnormally good looks. Just after awhile it kinda gets to you. You see I am the odd one of the family. I don’t follow there blonde hair, green eyes path, or there spouses. I have friends that care and I don’t consider myself ugly at all. I’m the brown haired, blued eyed kid that isn’t so big on boy’s, would i say I’m a lesbian? Not sure to be quite honest, if anything more likely bi-sexual. Having religious freaks as parents and my siblings all the same way, I would be disowned entirely from my family. I remember once when my dad was at work and just fired someone, he turned and looked at me saying, “I’m glad I don’t have a ****** queer ass kids, like her, be an awful shame to get disowned for such taking part in sins of the flesh,” and he laughed about it later with his friends at dinner. At that time I knew i was interested in girls. Guess we all have a tough. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, but I have cut myself in the past and I brought back the habit a couple days ago. Anyway thanks to those who read, just feels good to get it off my chest.
7 comments
Hi,
Just a few points that came into my mind whilst reading this that I’d like to say.
Firstly, I’ve always thought that in school, it isn’t the actual grades that count – it’s the effort that’s put in. If you get A’s, great. If you don’t, no worries.
Try not to get wound up about what others say about your looks. Everyone has their own unique beauty. Besides, someone’s appearance doesn’t always match their personality..
Finally, it does not matter whether you’re a lesbian, bi-sexual or hetrosexual. If people choose to judge you on any of these, that’s their problem. Not yours. Be yourself.
Take care.
Hey. I know how you feel. My parents are the same way and my sisters aren’t hot shot doctors but they were top of their class and scored 36 on their acts. I am like you in how i bring home top grades. Well if you want to talk my email is Robert.monwell@gmail.com
I know how hard it is to grow up in a family were all the rest are grownups. I have two brothers and a sister and i always feel like they are looking down at me and judgeing me. They weren´t at the top of there class but I still feel like I have to better then them always but they still treat me like a child even if a get good grades. My father has been drinking all his live so I know how hard it is, the best thing is that i can always tell if he is drunk or not, most of the time i get blamed because nobody belives me. My parents have no expectations for me but I still feel like i have to compete with them over everything. People say that being the youngest of the family is the greatest but it never is. In my family i am the odd one, they all have brown eyes and brown hair but i have green eyes and red hair. I don´t how hard it is for you but I understand you in some ways.
Hi,
If you have read many posts, maybe you feel better as you will realise how common the case is that kids get stressed either by abusing, neglecting or too demanding parents. The recipe is always the same. You concentrate on yourself and work your way. To get what you want, the study program you want and the job you want.
Again, this homo, lesbian or bi stuff does not exist on its own. It is associated with the rest of the issues you have, emotionally as you may have been wounded, and will go away as soon as you fix the rest. So, do not estimagtise yourself as “I am a lesbian, or I am a bi” you are none of it. The Media and the goverment for whom they work, popularize the trend just to get more votes, come up as diverse etc. But you are beyond that stupidity. So, if now you are feeling bi or tri do not give it importance. Just concentrate on doing good things for you, and as you feel better, you will find the boyfriend or husband of your choice.
What worries me a little bit is your cuttings you mention. Hmm, ideally I would start with putting that out of your reach, that and anything that might resemble. If you dont have it at hand you are helping yourself. See how you do like that. If you feel like it is being more difficult than what you would safely control, just pop in for a chat with the school counselor, and again dont make an issue of having visited a counselor, it is a temporary thing.
In one word. If you are well situated in terms of money, financial support for your studies, take advantage of that and dont give a damn about dads rantings. Forget about that bi tri stuff, and keep the good friends you have. Many of us would envy your situation.
best greetings
Al
* lexically I would have to replace the word *beyond by above, I think
@redwine. But you are feeling better now or not? Kuidas läheb nüüd? parem?
In some ways i feel a little better. Aga ikka on tunne nagu sõdiks terve maailma vastu. And the feeling is not very good.