I looked up the signs of a controlling bf & he fits every sign it seems like. What can I do to try to fix our relationship. I’m depressed and suffering..
It’s hard to let him go…:( I was thinking maybe counseling would work…but I’m at the end & he’s physically and emotionally abusive..not saying I’m perfect. Cause I definitely am far from it.
You can try, if he loves you he will try to change for you. Just try by bringing up one if the things he doing and ask him to work on that, make it a slow process, over time you can work out some of the issues.
People dont change over night, but they do over time.
DONT drop the i think your a control freak bomb on him, or tell him all the tings you want to change at once, that will end badly.
So yeah, little things here and there and over time he might ease up.
But if he is doing things like Keeping from seeing your friends and looks at all your messages then you just to break it off, that is a posinious enviourment.
The only thinq you could do is qive him ultimatime orhow ever you spellt that but you qotta stick to your qrounds……Why do the asholes always qet the qirls?Whats so bad about beinq with a quy that respects you,treats you riqht?
I understand my partner is a controlin too , but you cant change them its only if he/ she wants to but let him.know how you feel and if he loves you.he will change for you, for your relationship.
Thank you all for the advice and support. This site actually makes me feel somewhat better. My relationship isn’t healthy at all. If you wanna know more about my relationship..my other posts has long comments about my situation. Look at it & tell me what you think!
omfg “he’s been calling me really mean names daily (whore/slut/****/dirty)”
THIS IS A BAD RELATIONSHIP, a relationship is ment to be about love, you have ot get out of this coupling now, the man you seek is out there, and this is not him.
He is breaking you down, it will only get worse, he will begin to remove all your friends from your life and then your family, then you will need him more than ever and you wont be able to leave. it is text book.
Seriously, get out of this bad relationship, you deserve someone who will treat you right and respect you.
You can contact me if you want to talk about it. But really he is nothing but bad for you.
Could you like text me? Or something. And, do you think there’s any hope at all for us to become healthy, I love him more than I have ever loved someone…but if I knew all this was going to happen before I started dating him, I would have stayed FAR away. He definitely has control of me & I don’t know how to fix it or even get out of it? I cry daily & I’ve lost myself…he robbed me of everything I feel like. 🙁
You can only change you…no one else’ behaviour can make you happy, nor is it their responsibility. You are in charge of you and deserve a great relationship. When you decide you demand a solidly good relationship with yourself, you will attract a guy who treats you the way you deserve. Guys who behave that way (my dad is abusive) came from a background with not much love, and that can’t be state strongly enough. When a guy or girl really cares about themselves in an authentic way, they would only treat others as they treat themselves, with kindness. Good luck!
Its simple, stop talking to him, break contact. Since you said “I love him more than I have ever loved someone” im guessing your quite young, there will be lots of love in your life trust me, and you only get one shot at life so dont waste it with some shitbag who is going to abuse you.
Avoid him, break up with him, tell your friends to keep you away from him, delete his number from your phone, Tell your parents, your dad will keep him away.
there is a few things you could try.
Seriously if you let him he will continue to break down yourself worth until your so broken you wont be able to leave. Then it will get worse.
12 comments
being brutally honest here, no. you cant change a control freak.
Sorry.
You desever better anyway.
I have know a few control freaks in my time, and there still all control freaks today.
🙁
It’s hard to let him go…:( I was thinking maybe counseling would work…but I’m at the end & he’s physically and emotionally abusive..not saying I’m perfect. Cause I definitely am far from it.
He will only change if he wants to change, and if he abusive to you then i doubt he cares enough to try and change.
There are lots of fish in the sea, dont spend you time with an abusive one who puts you down.
Theres a person out there who will love and do anything for you.
I just can’t let him go 🙁 & I want him to want to change…
You can try, if he loves you he will try to change for you. Just try by bringing up one if the things he doing and ask him to work on that, make it a slow process, over time you can work out some of the issues.
People dont change over night, but they do over time.
DONT drop the i think your a control freak bomb on him, or tell him all the tings you want to change at once, that will end badly.
So yeah, little things here and there and over time he might ease up.
But if he is doing things like Keeping from seeing your friends and looks at all your messages then you just to break it off, that is a posinious enviourment.
Hope it works out for you.
The only thinq you could do is qive him ultimatime orhow ever you spellt that but you qotta stick to your qrounds……Why do the asholes always qet the qirls?Whats so bad about beinq with a quy that respects you,treats you riqht?
I understand my partner is a controlin too , but you cant change them its only if he/ she wants to but let him.know how you feel and if he loves you.he will change for you, for your relationship.
Thank you all for the advice and support. This site actually makes me feel somewhat better. My relationship isn’t healthy at all. If you wanna know more about my relationship..my other posts has long comments about my situation. Look at it & tell me what you think!
omfg “he’s been calling me really mean names daily (whore/slut/****/dirty)”
THIS IS A BAD RELATIONSHIP, a relationship is ment to be about love, you have ot get out of this coupling now, the man you seek is out there, and this is not him.
He is breaking you down, it will only get worse, he will begin to remove all your friends from your life and then your family, then you will need him more than ever and you wont be able to leave. it is text book.
Seriously, get out of this bad relationship, you deserve someone who will treat you right and respect you.
You can contact me if you want to talk about it. But really he is nothing but bad for you.
Could you like text me? Or something. And, do you think there’s any hope at all for us to become healthy, I love him more than I have ever loved someone…but if I knew all this was going to happen before I started dating him, I would have stayed FAR away. He definitely has control of me & I don’t know how to fix it or even get out of it? I cry daily & I’ve lost myself…he robbed me of everything I feel like. 🙁
You can only change you…no one else’ behaviour can make you happy, nor is it their responsibility. You are in charge of you and deserve a great relationship. When you decide you demand a solidly good relationship with yourself, you will attract a guy who treats you the way you deserve. Guys who behave that way (my dad is abusive) came from a background with not much love, and that can’t be state strongly enough. When a guy or girl really cares about themselves in an authentic way, they would only treat others as they treat themselves, with kindness. Good luck!
Its simple, stop talking to him, break contact. Since you said “I love him more than I have ever loved someone” im guessing your quite young, there will be lots of love in your life trust me, and you only get one shot at life so dont waste it with some shitbag who is going to abuse you.
Avoid him, break up with him, tell your friends to keep you away from him, delete his number from your phone, Tell your parents, your dad will keep him away.
there is a few things you could try.
Seriously if you let him he will continue to break down yourself worth until your so broken you wont be able to leave. Then it will get worse.
Get out now.