everything that happens in my life goes the wrong way. you dont know what you’ve got ’till its gone. i cant even think anymore of whats wrong or right. im too lazy to think of something knowing i will kill myself eventually one day. or be in the risk of it. i have no friends, no job, cant even drive. no social or sex life. i hate being the way i am, i feel a huge resentment of being gay. i get good opportunities up in myface, but i cant get them due to my health conditions ,and i just have no time to have a social life, be in a relationship. all these things are mixed up in my head.  i feel like i need 40 hours a day to complete what i want to do.   im 21 and dont have the life of a 21 year old, but that of an 80 year old. its so sad,, i feel like this is going to be the case of benjamin button. when ill get older, ill want to do the same things i didnt get to do at this age. its all twisted . i have no idea in making my death look like an accident. i mean i do,, but i dont another loser killing me. i wanna die by myself
2 comments
2 comments
I’m sorry it has taken so long, and I look and feel sad that no one posted a comment on this…when there is so much to say about you.
Keep your chin up. Don’t resent yourself. And your idea about having no time is just an excuse. You have time, but I think you are afraid of it. You are fine the way you are, and you won’t find love if you keep seeking it out. Trust me. I’m in the same position.
I know exactly how you feel (except for being gay, but people often judge me and call me gay which does hurt) this is exactly how i feel right now, like everything is hopeless. Im glad im not the onlyone